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I think about pulling ot a mom My dad’s … not around Most of the time Which is much better for everybody involved He’s … bad news"
She ht pucker between her eyebrows Fully awake now--this is how she looks in class Listening hard enough to hear everything I’s I am "What’s her name?"
"My mom? Michelle"
"Is she married to your dad?"
"No"
"So is she the Leavitt, or … ?"
"It’s my dad’s name"
"Any more brothers and sisters?"
"Just Frankie I told you about her"
"No, you didn’t"
Fair enough "I will"
She tilts her head, thinking "What’s your favorite color?"
"Green"
"Best place you’ve ever been on vacation"
"We never went anywhere California, I guess"
"Best present you ever got"
"That book you gave me"
Her eyes widen a fraction "It’s just a book About bread"
"I liked it"
"What kind of presents do you usually get?"
"Clothes Stuff I need Shit ave me a fifth of whiskey at Christmas"
"Who’s Bo?"
"My mom’s boyfriend She and Frankie live with hi the question My eyes flick to the darkness past her shoulder "Do you think … if I pro you want, will you coht away Instead, she plucks the flowers out of my hand, peels back the clear plastic and tissue paper around the top, and studies theet laid on Valentine’s Day, it’s not going to work"
"It’s not that"
After a long moment, she looks up
I’ve seen her face a hundred ways Cautious and hopeful, brave and fierce, happy and crying I’ve seen her soft and open, her hly kissed I haven’t seen her look like this but once: that first night when I walked out to her car and invited her into the bakery
Scared She’s scared of what’s going to happen
But she wants it anyway
"What is this, then?" she asks
I wish I could think of so perfect to say I wish I had words that took in her and hts I’ve lain awake,each other laugh Every dreaot a text that ht I held the phone to my ear and said whatever I could think of to make her squeak and moan and fall apart
With all the ways I know her, I still don’t kno tohere, co, where we’re headed, what this is--and how I can still be so positive this is where I belong
She’s what I want More than my plans, more than I want to be smart, more than I want to follow the rules--I want to be with her
I need to I have to I want to
I can’t waste any ure out which of those it is Not when I doubt we have all that much time left to waste
"I want to be your boyfriend," I blurt out
Iht of another way to put it I want to be your boyfriend--worse than laut, leaden
I’ve never said the brown eyes full of interest and … sympathy, maybe
Fuck it all, she feels sorry for
But heron a second"
I wait in the doorway, a hook tied to a line held in Caroline’s hand Just waiting to see where she’ll drag le She comes back with her coat and the lanyard she uses as a key chain dangling froers Her boots are by the door She shoves her feet into thee," she says, andthe handle towith me
She turns around, her face close tointo ?"
I just stare at her I haven’t got a clue what I said to get this lucky
Maybe she’s a gift The universe payingsuch a hopeless shithead
I’ll take it
"West?"
"Is … is that a yes?"
Her shoulders lift and fall with another plastic crinkle "Do I ever tell you no?"
"You did once"
She se at the horizon when I walk out of the bakery into the alley and get surprised by the le-h--until she walked into it and it wasn’t