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I lift into the ridge of heat in his jeans, loving that I can do this to hiets darker and ether, synchronized

It’s not sex It’s better than sex

It’s West

Thursday I wore this shirt--this joke of a shirt It’s supposed to fall off at the shoulder It’s supposed to be layered over another shirt, but I didn’t tell hi, it comes off my shoulder and exposes my bra strap and a little bit ofis faster this tilad because I’veelse for two days His hands have a desperation in the up and down, into h anymore These limits he drew on my body, the pencil marks faint I want more We both want et hi at his belt, and he’s over me, as hard and hot as I remember him but better So much better The way he rears up suddenly to look atno secrets My sto, one bra cup half out, and his hands tremble on my wrists as he pulls them overhead and crosses them on the pillow

I’ve never felt so desirable It’s a drug in rin at hi, I order him with my eyes and the s, or I will

He sinks down, hair falling in his face, and kisses ain He thrusts--really thrusts--andinto hiers I want his whole hand insideinto my panties His mouth on my breasts I want us to round all the bases, one after another, in the next half an hour

"Please," I say

West breathes against my ear Licks rin at the bunked bed above ain "Take it off"

Gladly Gladly I do, and then his hands are just … everywhere

Everywhere More than once

My bra hooks in the front I show hiain, his shark-bit T-shirt so annoying, his warent hands He knows exactly what to do Exactly

"Take this off," I say, tugging at his hem, so he does, throws the shirt on the floor, comes back down on top of me, skin-to-skin, naked fro that has ever happened to anyone in the history of the universe I slide my hands all over his back He kisses a trail from my mouth to my jan my neck

He licks my nipple, and I die I just die

We are hands and arht on s dor tension between ood," he says, and yanks open his belt, pulls it out of the loops, throws it on the floor He is a cowboy, his belt a whip It is the sexiest four seconds of action I have ever witnessed

INot for long, because he touches ures out what I like, plucks at that tension with his fingers, presses against , ely wet It sneaks up on uy but never froh nize this effortless skip fro, but West les and pushes hiht spot, so hard, so perfect, until I’ainst his hardness and his hands and his oes off, I’ave hiase that it can be so easy

He does it again before he leaves, with his thigh between s and his mouth on my breasts He’ll be late for class, I think, but I’ht over it when he kisses oodbye

He pulls his boots back on and rakes his eyes over me, half naked, half dead from pleasure

I’ve never felt so beautiful

It’s the shortest fifty minutes of my life

The end of the semester arrives, and I’m not ready for it Back in Septeh the days, to keepi to do with West

It’s finals week, which means no class No schedule, except for a few in-class exa time with West

Worse, I won’t see hion Dad is taking Janelle and her fiancé andaround ho for next semester to start Last year, I spentvoid up ahead--nothing to look forward to, and a lot to cringe away froh we don’t have class, West has work, of course, so I see hiet and I have been hanging out with Krishna and Quinn a lot, and with West, too, when he’s around The five of us are getting to be kind of a unit

I hadn’t realized how roup of friends until I had one again There’s an unpredictability to it, a potential for fun--or at least for conversation, so to hear about When it was just Bridget and me, I would see her in all the same places We had fun, but I think I was sort of a fortress after August, and ere behind the walls

Nohen I walk across ca to talk ht after break, and she wants by club single-handed since the end of last year I think she wants to recruit me to the dark side

I walk out of Latin and see Krishna, and he and I head in the sa TV What his mom sent him in the mail What he’s up to for Christer everything I see when I look around The first report I got fro,it off, just happy to have it be someone else’s responsibility

West fills a lot of the space in my head where the pictures used to be He crowds outto review my notes at the library He pushes his cart past, earbuds in, eyebrows lifted in an understated hello

I get one look at that shts Under hi our usual Tuesdayat ht we hang out at the bakery, and I want to touch him, but Krishna’s there, and I’m not allowed, anyway Not at the bakery Not in the library Not where anyone could see

I sit in hat e of his nose Dusted over his forearredients, scraping bowls, es of flour into the wheeled bin I can’t stop thinking about this scene I saw in a movie once, where the e of a table and all their clothes still on, just shoved down out of the way

It certainly wouldn’t be sanitary, but I have a feeling I wouldn’t care

"What are you up to after this?" West asks

It’s toward the end of the shift Krishna has left He’s done with his finals already, heading horab a nap, and then I have , right?"

"Yeah It’s due Friday"

"You gonna be able to sleep?"