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"You knohat Ioveryour jaw move when you talk I can see, like, muscles and stuff I never noticed before"

"Maybe ’cause we don’t usually talk with your face three inches away"

"That’s probably why," she says sole possibility"

I closeaway from me and I’ that h," she says

"What am I?"

I want her to tell me what I a white coluranite countertops, the deep white carpet in the living room that must be new because there’s not a stain on it I walked in and got lost

I don’t knoho I anize, and it makes it harder to remember why I’m not supposed to put my hands back on her hips, pull her on top of ers underneath her hat to feel the war I know in this place is Caroline

What a atthe bridge of roove above er, and it brings so up that I’ve shoved down inside me, buried in earth, covered over with a rock

I don’t knohat to call it Greed Need

She’s touchingme want to flip her over, pin her wrists down, clis to her until she feels boneless, desperate Until the only word she can make with that ile hollow of her body, and I want e only Caroline and erous

I sit up, scooting over a few inches and trying not to be too obvious about it My hands are shaking

"You’re high," I tell her

"I know"

"How’s the Internet treating you lately?"

I ask because I want to reical, bounded Imore than a visitor, we both have a role to play On this rooftop, there aren’t any boundaries I’ll put them back up, if that’s what it takes

"That co what you want theher face, either I think I h, touching et a report every month, but so far I haven’t seen one Maybe because of the holiday, they’re delayed or so?"

"I don’t know I decided I was better off not Googling myself all the time, so I stopped"

"Makes sense"

She wraps her ar my last na out over the backyard

"To what?"

"Fisk That was my mom’s na of it like that I just think--"

"Don’t let him win Not like this It’s not who you are You’re no coward"

She whips around, eyes flashing "I didn’t say I was going to do it I was just thinking about it, and I have every right to think about it if I want to"

I lift my hands "Fine Think about it"

That just pisses her off more "You have no idea what it’s like I walk around ca about me behind my back I look around s spread Could you stand it, if it were you?"

"If everybody on campus had seen my dick? Sure It’s just uys Nobody would call you a slut if that happened They’d just think you were, you know, kind of a tool Or that you had too much to drink Not that you orthless"

"If people think that, they’re idiots Why should you care what a bunch of idiots think?"

"Because the world is full of idiots, West! And because it matters to people who aren’t idiots My dad’s not an idiot, okay? He’s smart But if he finds out … if o to law school and I try to get a good clerkship, but I can’t because ina’s on the Internet? You kno et that But changing your nae their naes"

"No It’s always arbitrary It’s a decision I cana jerk about this I thought you were on my side"

"I am on your side, I just … He put those pictures up there so people would call you naht? He wanted you to feel shitty And I think if you change your name--that’s what he wants That’s probably even more than he ever wanted That’s what all of them want, for you to be asha to be ashauy, sucked hi deal, Caroline So they call you a slut, and they call you a frigid bitch, and it doesn’t evenabout who you are Those pictures aren’t you"

"They are, though I’ else anyuy I met, Scott? You knohy I haven’t called hi will it take him to find the pictures? And he doesn’t know ht I said ‘Carrie,’ so he thinks my name is Carrie, and it’s like … What if it was? What if I were Carrie Fisk? Then I wouldn’t have to worry, How long until he knows? What will he think? What will he do?"

"If he’d judge you for that, he’s a dick and you’re better off not knowing him"

"It’s not … It’s not even him, West, it’s everybody Everybody says, Be careful what you do with pictures The Internet is forever Don’t post drunk shots on Facebook I could be sixty years old, and the pictures ht still be online They could be there for the rest of my life So what if Scott doesn’t care? What if we date for years and get engaged, and then his reat-aunt, or whoever? What if he has some pervy cousin who jacks off to my pictures and tells Scott, you know?"