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"So you have no excuse not to go to the Alliance party withher worst, most evil smile "Yes"

"I really don’t want to"

"You really have no choice You don’t need to study, it’s tiet back out there, and this is the easiest, best party, because at least half the people there will be gay Possibly two-thirds, if you count the bis and the people who are ‘experiers "Plus, we had so ot a beer in one hand and Bridget tugging at the elbow ofme toward the dance floor

The Queer Alliance party is in the Minnehan Center, which is the caot the ed hall with a stage, a disco ball, and a little cubby on one here the party’s hosts push an endless parade of Solo cups across the counter to the crowd of students

You can’t get in to parties at the Minnehan Center without a student ID, but once you’re in, there’s no such thing as getting carded The student worker who hands out wristbands performs a cursory ID check that al

The beer is always free The music is always loud

The Alliance party has a soundtrack that brings out the inner ABBA in everybody--and also a lot of exhibitionist streaks As far as I can tell, I’et’s got on a gold sequined tube top and tight black pants that flare out over platfore of the dance floor just as "It’s Raining Men" co with a hundred other people "Dance with me!" she shouts

I shakeit quickly so I can get away frorab another

By the tih half the soundtrack to Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and all the good Gaga, the dance floor is roiling, and I’ hands with Bridget I srinds on her, and she rolls her eyes, but she likes it He pulls us into the group he’s dancing with--soirls is na out in Krishna and West’s rooood four or five inches taller than enerous chest and a sht to She keeps grabbing et sweaty and a little dizzy Krishna fetches us another round of beers, and we drink the the foahts up his face in the dark roolances at ?"

"Texting West" He lifts the phone, and before I can stop hirab his arm, blinded by the flash and by htness sent ht with Nate The surprise of the flash His hand on"Krish, don’t"

But he’s not listening He’s grinning, jabbing at the screen, and I’ to wrest the phone out of his hand when I hear a little whoosh that means it’s sent

"Damn it!" I punch him in the shoulder, frustrated and upset, frustrated withupset It’s just a picture It doesn’t

"What’d I do?"

Quinn reaches out forthrough bodies, thetoo loud I hadsafe, feeling okay, but there’s nothing okay about me

Frozen on the screen of Krishna’s phone withall aroundon all that exposed skin--I look like ato happen

Then I see Nate, and I remember I’m a mistake that’s already happened

He’s betweenat me, and there’s nowhere to escape to I can’t dance now I have to get out So I keep going, chin up, hopingtheat full volume

Let’s see that dirty pussy, baby I want to eat it out I’ fuck out of you

"Caroline!" Nate props his hand in the doorway so I can’t get past He smiles his drunk smile "Didn’t think I’d see you here"

I think of West, leaning in the doorway at the bakery as he walkedme to text hidown ot a beer in his other hand, and his sandy-brown hair is a little long, curling around his ears He wears a polo that brings out the blue of his eyes over these horrible navy pants with tiny green whales on them that he loves to put on for parties He insists he wears them ironically, but I always used to tell him it’s not possible to wear pants with irony You put on whale pants, you’re wearing whale pants

Douche, West says in my head

"Why shouldn’t I be here?"

"You haven’t been around one blank Like I could give a fuck about Nate

"Josh said he saw you with that sketchy guy from across the hall last year The dealer"

"So?"

"So I’m worried about you, Caroline First those pictures, and now you’re hanging out with hi on with you?"

I’m speechless I mean, literally, I can’t make words There are so ue, and I don’t knohich ones I’d say even if I could shake them loose

The nerve of hiher and takes a sip of his beer, as though we’re going to be here awhile, shooting the breeze "We’re still friends," he says "We’ll always be friends, you know that I just don’t want to see you getting hurt"

That’s the thing that unlocks my throat We’re still friends

He betrayed me He broke my life, then pretended I was the one who did it He lied, because he’s a douchebag, and douchebags lie And now he’s standing here, blockingme we’re still friends

"You knohat, Nate? Fuck you"

I duck underneath his ar him to hip-check me and pin h, wants to hurt et past him, run down the hall to the bathroom, lock myself in a stall, and climb up on the lid of one of the toilets, feet on the seat so I can drop my head down between my knees

I keep it there until I can breathe

I keep it there until I figure out that the low hu sound I hear isn’t inside my head It’s e fro West’s na, when he’s never texted me before except to type out one- or tord replies to es--it helps

I’un3 But somehow the miracle of autocorrect sorts it out

Where are you?

Minnehan party

I know K sent me your pic Where at M’han?

Bathroo idiot