Page 13 (1/2)

Now I’ fascinated by West

And then there’s the money I think about the money I wonder how much he has I know his tuition is paid, because he told olf course in the summer, because I asked why he had such stark tan lines

I i for his food, but as far as I can tell he doesn’t have any hobbies or vices I can’t figure out why he works so many jobs and deals pot, too, if he doesn’t need all that ht? He e quantities andloans

"Drop it," West says

I can’t drop it Not tonight Not when the pain in ry insistence I’m too pissed at him, and at myself "I’ll have to ask Josh," I muse "Or Krish I bet he would tell me I bet when people show up at your apartment, you don’t turn your back on Krish and make him sit alone while you deal outside on the fire escape"

I’ve never been to his apartment I only know about the fire escape because I drove by

I’ him

West drops the bowl in the sink and rounds on me "What are you in a snit about? You want me to deal in front of you?"

Do I?

For a moment I’m not sure I look down at the floor, at the spill of flour by the row of ht I caht since

How’s it going, Caroline?

"It’s bullshit," I say

His eyes narrow

"It’s bullshit for you to pretend not to be dealing drugs out the back door, like you’re going to protectthe truth about you It’s not fair that I’m supposed to come in here and bare my soul to you, and you don’t even want me to touch your stupid cell phone"

West crosses his ar dealer" It’s the first time I’ve ever said it out loud The first time I’ve ever even mentally put it in those words "So what? You have soive them to people for money Whoop-de-do"

He stares at me Not for just a es

For the entire span of ht in has the rinds around

Then the corner of his mouth tips up a fraction "Whoop-de-do?"

"Shut up" I’m not in the mood to be teased

"You could’ve at least thrown a fuck in there Whoop-de-fucking-do"

"I don’t need your advice on how to swear"

"You sure? I’m a fuck of a lot better at it than you"

I turn away and pick upand my Latin book off the floor I don’t want to be here any to hurt me, bullshit me, and tease me That’s not what I come here for, and I hate how the pressure fro behind the bridge ofin my throat

"Caro," he says

"Leave me alone"

"Caro, I made forty bucks Okay? That’s what you wantand just stand there, looking at it

He e?"

"Sixty-five"

"For how hth of an ounce"

I turn around "Is that a lot?"

"A lot of money, or a lot of weed?"

"Um, either"

He smiles for real now and shakes his head "It’s a little , but the weed is better It’s the s about this?"

And that’s when I loseI look past his left ear

I don’t want to ask hiht My dad is pretty well off I grew up in a nice house in a safe neighborhood in Ankeny, outside Des Moines, and even though Putnam isn’t cheap, I didn’t have to worry about tuition I always knew my dad would pay it, whatever it was

But that was before the pictures, and it was before I figured out that, no o away Not by myself

I need fifteen hundred dollars--maybe more--to hire the cos and scrub uy I talked to when I called said that cases like her fee

I don’t have a job I had one in high school, but Dad says I’ on my schoolwork now I have a hundred thousand dollars in a savings account--my share of the life-insurance settlement when my mom died from cancer when I was a baby--but until I’m twenty-one, I can’t touch it

With no incoet fifteen hundred dollars on a credit card withouton the application I tried

"Caroline?" West asks

"What?"

He steps closer "What’s this really about?"

And I blurt out the stupidest thing "You don’t have to protectto be

"I’h When Iwith the truth

He is He wants to