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"Did I ask you to be him?" she said weakly

I tilted her chin and brushed a soft kiss across her lips "No, Baby It’s not what you said This is all e Got it?"

"Got it," she mumbled

"You okay?" She rubbed a hand across oodbye kiss I pushed her against the wall and ain Maybe, if I tried really hard, I could lose myself in her Maybe just this once, she’d let me see all of her, she’d let me have the parts he hadn’t taken yet, the parts he hadn’t yet stolen I pushed her harder and slid the dress off of her body within seconds It pooled at her feet Without round and wrapped her legs aroundit impossible for her to leave me, impossible for her not to straddle me and see how much I wanted her

I moaned as one ofharder against her body so that I could keep us fused together Her skin felt hot -- and me? I was cold Everywhere felt cold

"De? Rerasping at anything she’d throw ather,into her underwear

"No!" she shouted The abruptness of her pushing against round So that was it My answer She’d give hiain I’d be left with nothing

"You need to go, Nat" I kept my back turned to her

"What the heck was that?" she yelled

"Nothing"

"Demetri" She walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my stomach "Talk to me"

"I just wanted you first" Honest truth I wanted to be the guy who h, who held her when she cried Instead, I got nothing Story of lared at Nat She blinked those hellishly long lashes, "First?"

"Before everything happens" Myto have a seizure or sos? Before what happens?"

I was exploding From the inside out My shoulders collapsed, unable to hold ht anymore, and I was in pain, not just emotional pain but physical pain Pain so severe that I couldn’t stopIt cas, irlfriend, the son he lost, the life I lived, the rejection Over and over again it hitit, I had reached into my pocket and lifted a pill to my lips

I took it

I took it and prayed it would work, and a part of me? Prayed it wouldn’t, so that I would have an excuse to do it again

"I’ll always love you," I whispered

"Demetri, I love you" Funny, I hadn’t realized until this day that there were different types of love Sucked that the one she felt for me didn’t hold a candle to the way she felt about him What sucked even s -- but at least I didn’t kill anyone, at least I didn’t steal fro the brother as the villain, she just didn’t know it yet

"I know" I smiled sadly and exhaled "I’ll see you in another week or so, okay?"

"Okay" She shivered, went and put on her dress

"I’ll ht the fact that I’d just thrown another pill in ?"