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"Chris," she pleads "You tellyou to do the sahtly, "that you think you knohat I’m about, Sara, but you don’t really see les to s, see the fear in her eyes; fear I feel in ut "Isn’t that what I’ with you tonight does that for us, then I need to be there, Chris I have to be there You have to let ht into that hellhole in ht her here for a reason, and I let that reason get swept aside I even proposed, knowing I’d let it happen That’s how damn selfish I am when it comes to Sara I want her, but I don’t truly have her

"Get dressed," I say, before I lose the will to do it

The mo and she disappears into her closet I yank a black Harley T-shirt fro hold of the control that both she and I need h hell these past teeks, and I’m about to add to it Dylan died and I shut her out Rebecca is dead Ella isShe’s been pickpocketed and accused of murder, and she was emotionally bruised and beaten by Aet hurt

I see every action Sara has taken since arriving in Paris as a desperate need for the control she trusts to no one else but me, and I need to deserve that trust If I let us leave this place with the lie that we’ve faced all there is to face from my past, I don’t deserve her trust at all I owe her the chance to decide if this is what she really wants And if she decides to walk away fro away from the closet, I find Sara dressed in a loosely fitted pale blue dress It doesn’t have to hug her body for me to envision the soft, slender curves beneath Her hair is brushed to a shiny mass around her shoulders, her face clean of all makeup, and she has no idea hoeet and perfect she is toher But I also know that neither of us can get back on a plane to the States without our eyes wide open

• • •

Sara and I are silent on the ride to Isabel’s club She knohen I’m at that place where words don’t do it for ht anyone could, and I try to take coht nohen I know the blinders are about to come fully off The probleood for her I’ selfish and in love to walk away

I pull up to the door of Eclipse, one of Isabel’s clubs, the place she chooses to play her power games As I shift into park, club staffers are instantly at both sides of the Porsche 911 Ignoring them, I turn to Sara "This is just like Mark’s club You do as I say, when I say it Don’t talk to anyone Don’t even look at the inside this club matters to us"

But it does, and I’ve let us both pretend it doesn’t "I proht, I’ my hand around the back of her neck, I kiss her deeply Then I pull back, praying I didn’t just kiss her good-bye

Part Three

The Hive

Reaching for the door, I glance over et you"

She nods and I get out, shrugging out ofthe keys to thethe deal with a bill large enough to bypass the club policy that says otherwise Isabel likes people to stay awhile, and uses every means possible to make it happen

I round the hood of the 911 as another man opens Sara’s door, and I’ her to her feet and bringing her hips toit fro hair around her bare shoulders "They’llour departure"

Handing the jacket to the attendant, I let him shut her door Sara shivers and I run my hands over her arms "Remember what I said," I say,There are tooI need her with me on this "Don’t talk Don’t even look at anyone"

She offers me a weak smile "This would be a really bad tiht?"

I lean in close to her, pressingthe floral, sweet scent of her "I’e"

Her hand settles on roin and makesher lie in bed"

I draw her hand into aze that’s for her alone "Which is exactly where I ere right now," I say, watching her cheeks flush as if I haven’t thoroughly licked and fked her many tirounds ht in ways I wasn’t sure were possible again, before Sara

I tenderly brush h hers and lead her up the ten brick stairs We easily fall into step with each other, united as we approach this place