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I can’t escape the fear that I proposed out of ood for her or not But I remind myself that I recovered froain be what I was during those dark years following the shooting My demons are under control, locked away in a deep, dark cavern in my soul where they won’t be destructive

It’s the only way I can protect Sara, who has demons of her own It’s the only way I can make this, and us, work I need her in my life, and I know she needs me, too I will not destroy Sara as I did Amber

The sound of ainston my chest "What time is it?"

I reach for the phone and lance at the caller ID The naut and makes me ere already on the plane to the States

Sara raises up on her elbow, a shadowy silhouette in the darkness "No one calls for a good reason at one in theher off me to sit up fully As always, I’m already cold inside with the absence of her touch, certain a moment like this one will rip her fro the tension I know she’ll read in my face, punch the Answer button, and tell Tristan, "You do knoe leave in a few hours, right?"

"Oui, and so does Amber" His voice is more thickly accented than usual, a rubber band of tension about to snap

"Meaning what?"

"What the hell do you think it means? Merde," he snaps "She’s with Isabel, in total h my hair "Pull her the hell out of there"

"If I could do that, do you think I’d be calling you? I can’t get through to her, and I can’t even get inside to see what’s happening Isabel locked me out"

"Do what you do when I’ if you’d stayed the fk away, Chris I saw the look in that bitch Isabel’s eyes when she wrapped her ar to et over here and oes dead

"Fuck" I drop my elbows to my knees, my head between my shoulders I can never escape it And I can’t win Amber thinks this is about her, but for Isabel, it’s always been aboutthe beating for o, she’ll beat Amber worse just to spite me

Sara’s hand settles on my back, and I squeeze my eyes shut with the tenderness of the touch I don’t deserve "What is it?" she asks gently, her voice a soothing caress on ed nerves I don’t knohat it is about Sara, but she gets to s to ht only a whip could do, until I met her

But I don’t turn to her I can’t turn to her Not with the shit going on in my head

"Chris?"

I hear the uncertainty and worry in her voice, and I wish I could wipe it away--even though I brought her here to see the truth Flipping on the light, I say, "I have to go deal with a problem"

"What problem?"

I don’t knohat the fk to say and I push toa pair of jeans and pulling the ain