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Just put everything down, take five steps, and then you can put your hands on him, ask him to put his hands on you--

As I looked into Paul’s eyes, I could see the answering echo ofI hadn’t known I could want someone so much it made me dizzy

But as I took that first step forward, I heard the front door--and Dad’s voice "Marguerite? Are you home?"

Shit I threw Paul’s T-shirt at hie worthy of Clark Kent Through soot around to checking my bedroom Luckily Dad couldn’t see the sketch on rand duchess s of Lieutenant Markov Even nohen her secret love for him has already been exposed, the tsar would be furious if he had to confront the evidence

It’s brave of her to draw these, I think, flipping through a few rougher studies of Paul’s hands, his profile Brave of her to keep the in an entirely different style from all the rest--far softer, the lines less certain, as if the grand duchess were trying to paint an i naked in bed, the sheet tossed aside, his arm outstretched toward the artist Toward her; toward me The memory comes back to life so vividly that I can al outside the dacha, and taste Paul’sat my eyes, I set the sketch pad aside As I do so, one es When I look at the envelope, it proves to be uniowns I’ve purchased here in Paris Yet seeing this uerite has never received a letter from the person she needs to hear from the most

I find the fountain pen and a blank sheet of paper, and begin:

To the Grand Duchess Margarita,

How do I begin to tell you how sorry I a in Russia the first time, and I promise not to stay ht with Lieutenant Markov As much as we loved each other, his love was more for you than for ether Most of all, I should have beenI’ve ever done init up to you

Maybe you don’t care hoful I feel about it I wouldn’t blame you But what I can promise is that, after this, I’ll never return to this diain ("Dimensions" are what you seem to have called "shadoorlds") From now on, I swear: Your life is your own Your body is your own

I’otten to know Dad Hopefully that helps, having someone who’s always on your side Because he is, in my world just as much as in yours

Back ho scientist, happy with Dad and with her life I don’t have your siblings--who I miss so much--but I do have an older sister Her name is Josephine, and I’m not sure what you’dshe could probably outfight most of the cavalry officers But I bet the two of you would hit it off

And Paul--