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I wasn’t sure hoouldtold that I was crazy "That’s really interesting," I said slowly

"Can I ask you so, Mara?"

Do I have a choice? "Sure"

"What do you want?"

I tilted eneral"

"I wantI want" I tried to think What did I want?

To go back? To whento steal my best friend? To rewind to before I even met Claire? And Jude?

But that was also before Noah

I saw hi up atthat half-so back to before him I didn’t want to lose him I just wanted--

"To be better," I said finally For s like early admission, not involuntary coure out how to live a solad to hear you say that," Dr Kells said, and stood up "We can help you be better, but you have to want it, or there’s nothing we can do"

I nodded and tried to stand too, but stuainst the desk to steady myself, but my synapses were slow, and I just hunched

Dr Kells rested a hand onill?"

I heard an echo of her words--in someone else’s voice

In my mind

I blinked Dr Kells’s eyes were full of concern I hts What rong with me?

"What’s the matter?" Dr Kells asked She looked atfor so to happen

I felt paranoid Suspicious

As I tried to speak, she shifted out of focus

"Water?" she asked, and I heard an echo again, from far away

I must have nodded because Dr Kells helped ht back I heard the door open behind me, then close

And then I blacked out

16

BEFORE

Calcutta, India

I RESTED MY CHEEK AGAINST THE OPENING OF THE carriage and peeked out from behind the curtain at the creareen growth that clung to their trunks Creepers hung froh for reen world ofleaves, the jewel colored world of jungle flowers and sunsets It no longer interested e that was fascinating and new

"Are you feeling ill?"