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Two seconds later, I’er

Chapter 19--E at the door wakes My whole body feels like it weighs a hundred extra pounds I should have known that Souldn’t keep histhe hell out before Maddox caht to who helped ainst the wood, and breathe deeply I have to reer, he doesn’t mean He never ht atfor me not to believe what co and let him know that he’s off the hook He won’t have to deal with my stupid love anymore

"Open the door, Emersyn"

His voice hits h the thick door, it , Emmy You can do this Just let hiers around the door handle, feeling the cold steel against my skin, I try to let it centerand put a cold layer of ice over ht when he’s about to knock again and his fist stops just inches froasp

"Shit," he growls

We stand there just looking into each other’s eyes I have no idea what’s going through his head right now Why he’s even here I said everything I needed to in that letter--unless he didn’t get it Shit I don’t think I’et that all out to his face Writing it all down about killed reen Henley and jeans that are worn in all the right places The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, showing off the weaving lines of his tattoos Reds and blacks dance together over aln travels up both arht on the base of his neck Depending on the shirt, so up his tan skin I’ve studied his forearine each and every sweep the tattoo gunhis ribs, but I’ve never had the pleasure to study them I just know that it’s aze from his thick, muscled forearms to meet his eyes His deep-brown, very worried eyes He isn’t ht now, and as shocked as I a here?"

I haven’t let go of the door handle, using it to help holdto the floor He stands before me, still in the hallway, and at ht before ain This time, the worry is replaced with…deter his way into the roo the door shut with a kick I back up as he stalks towardserratic

"Maddox?" I i that he did, in fact, read the letter I’d left him "You think I haven’t felt that pull? Jesus, E sucked into a vortex I’ve pushed and pushed, not to reject you--even though I now see my mistake--but to protect you That love that you’ve been offering, I want nothing more than to take it and run I have so many demons, E, and I’, even the platfor won’t be strong enough, and when I tuht into the pits of hell"

He forces out a laugh and bends slightly at his waist, his hands going to his neck and his fingers clenching in frustration

"Your words play in nize it before now, but you’ve been fighting those da it" He steps closer, and I have no energy tome in place, and try to desperately process his words "Soht that I needed to be brave and strong and show you my love Laid out there in black and white by a dahs "He pulled my head out of my ass in two seconds, Em"

"Mad--" I start

"No, E to be easy fortraining oing to try, yeah?"

I nod and wait for him to continue Both of us stand there, so close yet so far

"The day Ito run I hadn’t felt like that…ever You brought out every single e to keep locked away I’ve feared every second since that those holds would never be strong enough against you Jesus, Em, you have to understand this is new to me"

"I know that, Mad," I whisper

"I pushed you I hurt you--God, I hurt you--because I could never live with myself if the demons, the darkness, the evil inside me harmed you"

"So you just decided to do it yourself? Save your stupid demons of darkness the trouble and just handle it?" I snip at hi like that, Em It’s all I know It’s the only way I could think to protect you and that was a vast mistake on my end I want to let you in, E if that’s what it takes for you to just believe that I’ just a sliver of your love I honestly don’t kno to make it any clearer"

"Just like that, Maddox? You want ers, you’re going to be able to miraculously letit I can only take so h I’ht left in me for the both of us"