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"And Conrad likes chess too," Jeremiah said "He just tries to be what our dad wants And the thing is, I don't even think he likes football, not like I do He's just good at it like he is at everything"

There was nothing I could say to that Conrad was good at everything I grabbed a handful of chips and stuffed the

"One day I'onna be better than hi Conrad was too good "I know you like Conrad," Jeremiah said suddenly

I sed the chips They tasted like rabbit feed all of a sudden "No, I don't," I said "I don't like Conrad"

"Yes, you do," he said, and his eyes looked so knowing and wise "Tell the truth No secrets, re Jere for pretty much forever It was a tradition, the sa s we said to each other when it was just the two of us

"No, I really don't like him," I insisted "I like him like a friend I don't look at him like that"

"Yes, you do You look at hi eyes looking at me for one more second Hotly I said, "You just think that because you're jealous of anything Conrad does"

"I'ood as him," he said softly Then he burped and turned the ht I did love hiot up early to make a special belated Father's Day breakfast, only Mr Fisher hadn't been able to co the way he was supposed to be Conrad cooked anyway, and he was thirteen and a terrible cook, but we all ate it Watching hiht to myself, I will love this boy forever

Chapter forty -two

He'd gone running on the beach, so recently--I knew because I'd watched hiym shorts and a T-shirt; sweat had formed in a circle in the middle of his back He'd left about an hour before, I'd seen hi back to the house now

I walked out there, to the porch, without a real plan in my mind All I kneas that the summer was almost over Soon it would be too late We would drive away, and I would never have told him Jeremiah had laid it all out on the line Noastold hi our little summer sailboat--but Jeremiah had already done that, and look, ere still alive We were still Belly and Jeremiah

I had to, I had to do it, because to not do it would kill , for soht not like me back I had to know for sure Now or never

He didn't hearthe laces of his sneakers

"Conrad," I said He didn't hear ain, louder "Conrad"

He looked up, startled Then he stood up straight

Catching hin He had a , he wouldn't have tian to speak I said the first words I thought of, the ones that had been onI said, "I've loved you since I was ten years old"

He blinked

"You're the only boy I've ever thought about My whole life, it's always been you You taught ot me the time I swam out too far Do you remember that? You stayed with me and you pushed , 'We're almost there,' and I believed it I believed it because you were the one