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I nodded I could hear hi a million miles a minute This was Jereeness of it all made it hard to breathe I could barely look at him Because I didn't I didn't see him that way There was only one person For me that person was Conrad
"And I know you've always liked Conrad, but you're over hiht?" His eyes looked so hopeful, it killed me, killed me to not answer him the way he wanted me to
"II don't know," I whispered
He sucked in his breath, the way he did when he was frustrated "But why? He doesn't see you that way I do"
I could feelto tear up, which wasn't fair I couldn't cry It was just that he was right Conrad didn't see me that way I only wished I could see Jeremiah the way he saw me "I knoish I didn't But I do I still do"
Jeremiah moved away from me He wouldn't look at me; his eyes looked everywhere but atyou," he said, and his voice cracked
"I'm so, so sorry Please don't be hed "I'm not mad at you I'm just--why does it always have to be Conrad?"
Then he got up, and leftthere
Chapter forty one
AGE 12
Mr Fisher had taken the boys on one of their overnight deep-sea fishing trips Jereo; he'd been sick earlier that day so Susannah ht on the old plaid couch in the base movies
In between The Terminator and Terminator 2, Jeremiah said bitterly, "He likes Con better than e the DVDs, and I turned around and said, "Huh?"
"It's true I don't really care anyway I think he's a dick," Jere at a thread on the flannel blanket in his lap
I thought he was kind of a dick too, but I didn't say so You're not supposed to join in when so his father I just put the DVD in and sat back down Taking a corner of the blanket, I said, "He's not so bad"
Jereave me a look "He is, and you know it Con thinks he's God or so So does your brother"
"It's just that your dad is so different frouys fishing and, like, plays football with you Our dad doesn't do that kind of stuff He likes chess"
He shrugged "I like chess"
I hadn't known that about hiht me to play when I was seven I wasn't bad either I had never joined chess club, even though I'd kind of wanted to Chess club was for the nose-pickers That's what Taylor called them