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I gripped the sides harder, willing myself to believe the lie

And then I saw erator Tellingthe steel doors Every ainst the appliance again and again Madman yelped and scurried away

All the shit round, and I just kept going Using both hands to sla hurt if I knew I had you

She was fking with et her?

I stopped, s, but it was never enough I turned around to head up the stairs If ing out the Jack Since she was an alcoholic, I kept that shit hidden But tonight I needed a way out I couldn’t stomach the hurt I couldn’t deal, and I needed to be numb

On my way up the stairs, I noticed that the front door was open

Shit

It ot out, no doubt

I kicked the door shut Hard

Fucking aweso had left

Once in my room, I went to the stash Madoc and I ski off my hoodie and shirt, I kicked off ulps to drown out her voice inover to

Closing her eyes and juown came to mind, but I couldn’t place it

She looked ridiculous and couldn’t dance any better than hed when she threw the devil ears up in the air and screae to hold her

And right then and there, I wanted her back

But what the hell was I going to say to her? I couldn’t tell her everything

Not everything

I brought the bottle back up to my lips, closed my eyes, and forced the bile back down uy she knee were fourteen was gone My parents had left me She’d left me

I was onnip of hatred and hell crawled its way up my neck and into my head until my nerves burned so badly that I wanted to rip off my skin just to breathe

I launched the bottle across the roo to the floor

Godda down the stairs, I went fking crazy I kicked over chairs, smashed pictures, and went to bat with so the fire poker at everything and anything Every picture that ave the impression that ere a happy household was destroyed In two hours, the house was ripped apart froot lost and exhausted

When all was done, the house was a disaster, and I was covered in sweat

But I was as high as a kite Nobody could hurt me if I could hurt them

Blissfully numb and calm, I parked myself outside on the back porch with another bottle of Jack from my supply and let the rain coolI was out there, but I was finally breathing and that felt good There’s so like a five-year-old and breaking soain, and I just sat there and drank, soaking up the quiet in my head

"Jared?"

I twisted my head and immediately lost my breath Tate? Aw, Jesus Christ No, no, no…

She was here? And in fking shorts and a tank top?

I turned back around, hoping she’d go away I didn’t want to losestupid I’d finally calh to deal with her right now

"Jared, the dog was barking outside I rang the doorbell Didn’t you hear it?"

Daet closer To sink into her arms until I couldn’t even remember yesterday

She walked around in front of led They wanted her

I glanced up, only for aChrist She was drenched And I looked down again, knohat I would do if I kept looking Her wet shirt stuck to her body, but she tried to hide it by crossing her ar down, and her shorts clung to her toned, wet thighs

"Jared? Would you answerat her again Why? Who the fk knows? Every time I saw her, I wanted to buryran away," I choked out What the hell?

"So you threw a temper tantrum? Does your mom know you did that to the house?"

And that’s when the ent back up Myat me like I couldn’t control myself Like I eak

I didn’t want to hurt her any her in, either

"What do you care? I’ht? A loser? My parents hate me Weren’t those your words?" Yes, this was easier Just push back

She closed her eyes, looking es No ize," I interrupted, swaying as I stood up to hover over her "Grovelingat ister what she was saying as I walked back into the house