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I pinchedis ht and natural, like she was speaking to a friend "But it’s like this whole other real erously slick roads, or h trials to make it to the finish line"

She paused, and I liftedthe sairl, I could still wake up to that thrilled feeling You iddy with expectation, just like a symphonic rainstor, cloudless sky"

Suspicion inched its way under ue

She continued, "I remember I’d shovel in o knock on your door We’d play all day, only co home for food and sleep We played hide and seek, you’d push , or we’d climb trees"

I couldn’t help it My eyes snapped up toout and squeezing it in her hand

Tate

Was she speaking to ain" Her eyes were locked with mine "You see, when I was ten, my mom died She had cancer, and I lost her before I really knew her My world felt so insecure, and I was scared You were the person that turned things right again With you, I becaeous and free It was like the part of me that died with my mo hurt if I knew I had you"

I couldn’t catchto her

"Then one day, out of the blue, I lost you, too The hurt returned, and I felt sick when I saw you hating one, and you becaone And my heart was ripped open I missed you I missed my hten

She was looking at

Piles and piles of fking shit swirled through my mind as I watched her

All the crap I’d done to prove that I was strong To prove that I didn’t need so to cal inShe had to be

"What orse than losing you hen you started to hurtto school They made me uncomfortable in my own home"

Her eyes pooled withI was fkingstill hurts, but I know none of it is my fault," she continued and thinned out her lips in a hard line "There are a lot of words that I could use to describe you, but the only one that includes sad, angry, one, and you’ll be nothing but soh school" Her eyes zoned in on"You were my tempest, my thunder cloud, s, and I loved you But now…you’re a fking drought I thought that all the assles drove Gers can still leave scars"

My hands balled up, and I felt like I was craistered the class clapping for her--no--cheering for her Everyone thought her "perforreat I didn’t knohat the hell to make of it

She acted like she cared aboutthat used to be good between us But the ending…it was like a goodbye

She bowed, her hair falling around her with her dip, and she suilty that she felt good

The distant cry of the school bell sounded, and I moved out of my seat, past her desk where she’d sat back down, and out of the roo like I was in a daratulations on a job well done, and going about their business as ifhite noise around me The only sound that filled my ears was my own heartbeat as I walked in a daze into the hallway

I pressed my forehead into the cool, tiled wall across from Penley’s classroom and closed my eyes

What that hell had she just done toair intoIt was all an act

All I’d wanted when I was fourteen was her And she hadn’t been thinking aboutfor her She didn’t miss me while I was at my father’s that summer She didn’t want ot back, I’d needed her so goddaht

Goddammit, Tate Don’t do this Don’t fk with my head

Jesus, I didn’t knohat I wanted to do anyet her But then I didn’t

Maybe I just wanted to hold her and breathe her in until I could remember who I was

But I couldn’t I needed to hate Tate I needed to hate her, because if I didn’t have a place to sink all of ain My father would have me, and I wouldn’t have her to zone in on

"See ya, Jared"

I twisted around and blinked Ben had called out toatLike I wasn’t the focus of her life when she was the focus of everything in mine

I stuck my fists into the pocket ofthe for me to do nohen I was in public To keep my te underneath

My teeth ground together She couldn’t hurtup as I watched the with him

She’d just handedhter until the bones in ers ached