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Her eyes fill with protectiveness "God no! I’m here for you whenever you need me No matter what it is you want to talk about Ben is a part of my past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hat’s best for him And if you think he’s what’s best for you, then, Bell, I support you"

In this moment I can’t possibly love her any more I swipe my tears away "Well, he’s not what’s best forelse as htens

She frowns "However you choose to resolve this, do it, because it’s what you really want I hate to see you like this"

I nod "I’litch but don’t worry, I’ll be back to normal soon"

She eyes me suspiciously "Bell, did Ben tell you how old he hen his father died?"

"No," I croak

"I’e" She pauses and I answer for her

"As our child would be now"

She nods and takes a deep breath "And I think Ben sometimes separates himself from that child who lost his father"

As she talks it hits mewhy he likes Toine he likes Peter Pan too I quickly bring hts aside

"He has a softness for kids He always has He took Trent under his wing and helped Serena raise hied kids for years, and even when he was in New York City he toldhis reaction was right I’ everything she says I feel a little raw Looking at the tiet ready I have a retirement dinner don and I have to make sure the flowers arrived and the tables are set up"

She stands up and hugstime before I walk her to the door

"Call me," she says

"I will I promise And, Dahlia, please don’t tell River about this"

She stares at hs "I won’t bring it up, but if he asksher close again "He won’t ask Why would he?"

She pulls back and narrows her eyes at me "But you do have to tell him and Xander too I can’t keep this from him forever"

"I will," I proainst the door The thought of it is too ht now Dahlia wasn’t there when it all went down--how River and Xander wanted to confront Ben and I begged the out about the baby would change e e at that point I was too broken to be fixed--or that was how I felt I wonder now, if I had let them confront him, would my life be different today?

CHAPTER 23

Stuck in the Middle

Ben

I’m focused intently on my computer screen as I search the TRASH folder for Beck’s monthly layout that I accidentally deleted Almost a week has passed since I found out I have a kid out in the world My sister’s words are still swirling around in my brain "Maybe you should think a little more about her and a little less about yourself" The trouble is, she is all I have been able to think about A h me

• • •

It was October thirty-first my senior year and S’belle e-ht It had been alht together I replied no She asked again and that tiht I kneas lying toI could just see her--I knew I couldn’t I wanted her to kno I felt I told her that her green eyes were the hts of her touch excited reed to ave ht, I couldn’t Dahlia ca her Instead I went the next day to her apartment and she wasn’t home I went back the next five days and she never answered The next time I showed up, someone answered and said she didn’t live there anymore

• • •

A soft knock on the door pulls me back to the present "Come in"

Aerie enters "Hi Do you have aokay?"

She takes a deep breath "I know you have a lot going on right now, but I have so to react"

I glance over to her and ood"