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He furrows his brow "Let’s get you ho"

"Fair enough"

"Hey, what happened to that drink?" the redhead asks, pulling on my shirt

I turn around "Yeah, sorry about that I have to go"

She stands there pissed as hell looking at ht now

"You’re an assle," she mutters

"Yeah, I am," I toss back at her

We hit the outside a few seconds later and the sudden burst of air makesa word They turn into the side alley where Beck’s Jeep is parked I start to feel sicker with each step I stop at his car but have to braceover and over, I catchto barf in my car?" he asks

I shake

Over his shoulder as he drives he asks, "Where are you parked?"

"I have no fking idea" I laugh

"Are you for real?"

"What crawled up your ass?"

He slams his foot on the brake and jerks the car into PARK, then turns around "I don’t want to see you ruin everything you’ve worked so hard to acco "I found out today I have a kid out there somewhere that I never knew about"

Ruby’s head snaps in et your vehicle and get you home and I’ll throw on a pot of coffee and we can talk about it"

"Okay, man I think my bike’s down on Melrose somewhere"

Beck rides una I fade in and out of consciousness until we hit the beach The smell of the sea air awakens my senses I stare out theand into the vast body of water Childhoodsand castles, flying a kite, shell hunting My phone is vibrating like a et to my house, I sit at the kitchen table and cradle my head in s from the cupboard

Ruby sits beside me She takes my hand "Do you want to talk about it?"

I take a breath "You know the girl I told you about?"

"The one with the French naht smile "Yeah, S’belle Well, her na this

Beck sets three cups of coffee on the table and has a seat

I take a sip of ht without a condoht twice about the lack of protection

"You slept with her and she got pregnant?" Ruby asks

I stare down at the table "Yes, I slept with her one night irlfriend"

"Dahlia?" she asks

I nod, not really re any ofthat I blabbed about plenty "She toldthat happened earlier this evening They listen, no judg my soul, Ruby asks, "Do you know if it was an open or a closed adoption"

My eyes rise to hers "I have no idea What does it matter?"

"An open adoption usually has an option of contact"

I shoot her a quizzical look

"I’m adopted I’ve known since I was six years old, but my adoption was closed"

"Your parents told you when you were young," I comment

"Yes, they didn’t want rew up feeling extremely special But a part of h the whole nature-nurture debate in hteen I paid a woical parents She wasn’t able to find ave me the address and phone number of my birth mother"

"Why couldn’t she locate your birth father?"

"His name wasn’t recorded on the birth certificate"

With ether and then look over toward Ruby "Did you contact your birth mother? Did she tell you who he was?"

She shakes her head "I love my parents--my adoptive parents, and once I had that piece of paper in my hand, I decided I didn’t need to know"

Beck stands, lifting his elances up at him and nods She rises and shifts her eyes to me "Ben, if you ever want to talk, call me"

I walk them to the door and Beck leans over toward o to my bar You know I’ hi at them as they walk to their car, I think about what Ruby said Then I stand there wondering if so across from a person with a piece of paper in her hand with my name on it

• • •

He runs down the stairs with a football tucked under his aro Bears football hel for him It looks so familiar

"Hey, champ, slon," I call as he hurtles past me

"Daddy, Daddy, I did it," he says as he comes to a stop next to me