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She nodded "The truth, with nothing hidden"

"Good Then here’s the thing I’e"

"What does that ht way, okay?"

Lilah had not replied to that The moment had not become what she had expected In books, the hero sweeps the heroine up into his arms and they kiss Lilah had never kissed anyone except Annie and George, and those were cheek kisses Not the fiery kisses she’d read about The kinds of kisses where the world tilts on its axis and the heroine feels like she’s going to faint Lilah did not knohat that really meant, but she wanted to find out

What Toirl, no doubt about that You are strong, and intelligent, and lovely, and you care about people All of those are ae, I have no doubt that I would be one of a hundred boys ould fall head over heels for you But that’s not going to happen, for a couple of very good reasons First, I’er, so there are all sorts of legal and uy who’s ever been interested in crossing those lines Not now and not ever"

Lilah said nothing to that It was a stupid reason, and she was sure that she could kick it aside

"Second, even though it’s a self-appointed role, I’ you Thatkinds of choices If you came to me and told me that you were in love with soive you the sanored that, too There were no protectors when she lived alone in the Ruin, and she did not believe she needed anyone to ht to keep a dismissive sneer off her face

"And third, and most important of all--I don’t love you like that, Lilah I don’t now and I won’t"

"Why not?" Lilah deressive

Tom set his coffee cup down and looked out theat the falling snow for a long time When he turned back to her, his eyes were filled with more sadness than Lilah had ever seen in anyone’s eyes

"Because I’m already in love with solass in his voice

"With who?" demanded Lilah

"With Nix’s mom With Jessie Riley"

Lilah blinked "ButNix’s reed To when I found her I held her while she died, Lilah I felt her go I felt her heart stop I felt her last breath on le tear broke and fell down Tom’s cheek

"I loved Jessie Riley with an Lilah, but Toers and looked at the wetness for a longback"

"Oh"

"You know," Tooing to propose to her Benny and Nix don’t know that There’s a silvers"

He sniffed and took a breath

"Jessie had my heart, Lilah Andwhen she died, I think that part of me died with her" He shook his head "I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone else Not like that"

"In books," Lilah protested, "people heal They get over it"

"Other people, maybe," Toht"

It was the last thing he said about it Lilah stayed for a cup of coffee, but they sat at the table and looked at things inside their own heads and said nothing to each other Her coffee was cold and untouched when she left the house, and they never spoke of it again

So weeks after that conversation with Too of her desire for Toh in a different way she loved him more than ever She alould

Now To herself to focus on her one too, there was soain Lilah’s understanding of her own spiritual beliefs was largely unforether Tom had earned that

If that could be true, then ether He’d be lying under a tree, peeling an apple, and she’d be laughing as she chased butterflies in a sunlit field where there were no living dead and no evil men

It hy Lilah did not fear death Sofor her there

Lilah kept walking along the muddy bank of the stream, but she slowed and then stopped completely The path ahead of her was invisible now It was not hidden by shadows, and it had not petered out as loose soil gave way to hard rock No, it was sih the hot tears that boiled from her eyes and burned their way down her cheeks

15

BENNY AND CHONG STOOD AT THE EDGE OF THE RAVINE MORE THAN AN hour had passed since Lilah had gone looking for Eve’s faht with Nix Now Nix sat sleeping against the tree with Eve in her aruure a way to explain it to hihed

"So while staring into the ravine

What could possibly be wrong? wondered Benny sourly I either think I’ot so depressed down in the ravine that I al"?

"Tell th "Do you ever have toofunny and biting, but stopped himself and studied Benny for a slow three-count He turned back to study the faces of the dead

After a long time he said, "All the ti ain

"Earlieryou said you sao "What was that about?"

Benny told him And about how she appeared to blow on a silent whistle, and how the zo had a half shed "Go on, say it"

"You are monkey-bat crazy"

"Thanks"

"A whistle?"

"Yeah"

"Likewhat? A dog whistle?"