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"I thought so," Nix said, and Benny did not at all like the way she said it
They walked in silence for another full er bear it, "what’s going on?"
"With what?" she asked, not looking at hi’s fine"
"Really?" he asked "Is it?"
Nix stared ahead as they walked, watching the bees and the dragonflies
"Look at me," he said
She did not
"Nixwhat is it?" he asked gently "Did I do so, or--?"
"No," she said quickly
"Then what is it?"
"Does it have to be anything?"
"Pretty much, yeah For the last couple of weeks you’ve been weird"
"Weird?" She loaded that ith jagged chunks of ice
"Not weird weird, but, you knowdifferent You spend all your ti to anyone We hardly talk anymore"
She stopped and wheeled on hi around like the world just ended"
Benny gaped at her "No, I don’t"
"Yes, you do," she insisted
"Well, okay,with some stuff My brother just died, you know"
"I know"
"He was h that, ever think about that?"
Nix’s eyes blazed "Are you going to lecture rief, Benja My mother was beaten to death How do you think that makes me feel?"
"It makes you feel like crap, how do you think I think iton--"
"Who’s harping?" he said defensively "Jeez, Nix, all I did was ask rong Don’t biteyour head off"
"Then why are you yelling?"
"I’ breath and let it out slowly
"Nix, I do understand what you’re going through I’," she said very quietly An elk poked its head out froebrush, studied them for a moment, then bent to eat berries from another bush
"Then on’t you tell lared at him "Honestly, Benny, sometimes I think you don’t even knoho I am"
With that she turned and stalked away, her spine as stiff as a board Benny stood open sat with Eve
"What the hell was that all about?" he asked the elk
The elk, being an elk, said nothing
Dispirited and deeply troubled, Benny thrust his hands in his pockets and walked slowly over to the edge of the ravine to stare at the faces of the living dead They looked at him with dead eyes, but in some eerie way Benny felt that they could see him and that they somehow understood all the h the skin of this day
FROM NIX’S JOURNAL
A lot of the stuff Toht after we started training, Morgie asked Tom e bothered, ’cause after all, Charlie and the Hammer were dead This was before we left town, before we met White Bear and Preacher Jack
Tom said that we should never assume that we knohat’s out there He said, "People in town refer to everything beyond the fence line as the great Rot and Ruin We assu but a wasteland from our fence all the way to the Atlantic Ocean three thousandout there We don’t knohat it is, or whether whoever’s out there will be friendly Or generous Or open to us joining them A smart warrior prepares for all eventualities"