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Looking straight into those haunted eyes, I say, "I’ll never take that back I love you I love you so much"

"I love you, too I’ to do so"

I shake my head "You shouldn’t have"

Peter places his hands ondown into ainst mine, he says, "I had to I couldn’t lose you Please tell me that I didn’t lose you" Peter’s eyes are lowered to my lips He watches me for a second and I feel it

This is theHe quit so he could be with lad I’ine is derailed and there’s baggage everywhere--nightrets litter ht I’d have this chance It was taken from me by someone I trusted I wonder if I can really do it, if I can move on I want to I want to take the chance so badly I can feel it burning inside ofme to move, to throw my arms around Peter and tell hiaze falls to his chest There are sofor attention, pro but pain It’s not that I don’t want him, I do It’s that I knohat this o back to his place right now I could fall into his ar I could show hihts that scareus back, nothing keeping us apart Thatht start bleeding I’s I kno I can’t be with hiht terrifiesand dampen my face I open my mouth to say it, but Peter shakes his head The look in his eyes rips me apart, but I have to say it There’s no future for us

Peter steps back froive us a chance"

"I can’t" My voice is barely a breath "I can’t be with you I can’t move on And I can’t take you doith s and walk aith tears blurring my vision Peter calls out, but he doesn’t chase est mistake walk away

CHAPTER 23

I haven’t said his na hi that happened to me while I ith him, with Dean I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hands

As I ran down the front steps, I felt Peter’s eyes on me, but I didn’t stop I couldn’t I already ruined et to the bottoone I never heard him leave, never heard the click of the doors He left without a sound It makes me want to crya tissue froround A few pens and Millie’s pepper spray rolls out the side I sweep the Every ounce of rass and cry--cry because I’et over lance back up at the steps Peter illing to try

But his pain is different, I think She didn’t tie him to a seat and scratch his skin with his knife She didn’t press harder to see if he cried She didn’t use her strength to take what she wanted She didn’t do things like that His pain is different It has to be

I can’t relive those night with Peter will do I take a few breaths and steady et back to the dorlassy red eyes when I walk inside Everyone ant to knohat happened

After wiping ain, I start down the sidewalk The sky is so dark that it’s nearly black There’s no ht The few trees rustle in the breeze There are souys ahead, toward the opposite end of the street, next to the dor into their cars So football A guy with no shirt on launches the ball I watch it streak across the sky, and it isn’t untilsensation on the back ofh I’o through the faces, most of which don’t even realize I’hts I’m on the sidewalk in the shadows between la the hand over the back ofMy car is across the street When I arrived, the lance behind ret washes over me I didn’t want to hurt him God, the look on his face when I said ‘no’ was tooaround for my keys, as I cross the street When I’m out of the crosswalk, I hop onto the sidewalk and head into the parking lot I’ht Where are s around, trying to find the