Page 27 (1/2)

I’ speed I feel so tired I can’t re soather my books By the time I head for the door, the classroom is empty, save Peter, who’s at his desk

"What happened to your face, Colleli?"

I raise my eyebrow and look back at him "That’s hardly co with ets up and walks toward rades are so borderline that youdown my neck, I can’t pass you if you don’t earn it"

I didn’t realize that My spine stiffens "I don’t want you to pass ? I don’t understand you You wanted to take this class, didn’t you?"

"I wanted to take it when Tadas teaching it" Peter flinches Maybe I said that a little too harshly "I didn’t mean--"

Peter puts up his hands, palms toward rips the back of his neck and sighs

I’ve avoided looking at Peter’s face, but when he’s turned to the side--away from me--I chance it His lashes are lowered, and his shoulders sluht was too s under his eyes that er smile Peter looks exhausted, with a sadness that penetrates every ounce of his being He’s drowning in melancholy

Peter must feel my eyes on the side of his face, because he looks up Our eyes meet and I wish they hadn’t My sto There was air and now there is none Weeks have passed, but I’aze and looks down "I better get going" His voice is faint, weak

Before I knohat I’ret it?" Peter looks up at me His eyes slip over ret it so badly If I could go back and undo everything, I would I can’t stand seeing you like this, and I can’t stand being like this If I never sat at your table--"

Peter talks over me "If you never sat at ain No, I don’t regret it I don’t regret any of it" He works his jaw, as if he wants to say ainst it

I nod slowly and pick upelse A letter falls out of the pages and lands at Peter’s feet He bends over and picks it up His eyes lift to ht you were going to throw it out?"

"I did He sent another and then another"

"You haven’t opened any of them?"

I shake my head "No," my voice is barely there "He’s dead to ain"

I head toward the door I feel Peter’s eyes on ive him the chance I walk out of the room and down the hall I exit at the front staircase No one uses the stairs There are over a hundred steps to the lawn below I presstihts around me illuminate the steps, but I’m in shadow The people below can’t seeme letters When ere children, he and I were best friends He looked out for me, took care of me Sam let me play with his friends He punched anyone that h we’re twins You were born after me, he’d say That’s why you’rethe older brother It ed when I cried to him about Dean I expected him to defend me He didn’t Sam said I was a tease, and that he’d seen what I did, the way I acted around his friend The memories bubble up one by one Once they start, they don’t stop

Dean didn’t hurt you, they said Dean is a good youngin front of ain I want to cry out, What about me? He held me down, he overpowered me Dean wouldn’t do that, they said God, I’d never felt so betrayed in my life