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HENRY, the s waiter at the lass of the evening&039;s guest as though knowing in advance that that guest was reaching into his shirt pocket for a suest looked up "Thank you, waiter - though the pills are so down au jus, so to speak"

He looked about the table and sighed "Advancing age! In our row old ad lib Doctors follow the faltering rease My blood pressure is a touch high and I have an occasional extra systole, so I take a pretty little orange pill four times a day"

Geoffrey Avalon, who sat immediately across the table, smiled with the self - conscious superiority of a ood shape with a vigorous system of calisthenics, and said, "How old are you, Mr Smith?"

"Fifty - seven With proper care, my doctor assures me I will live out a normal lifetinified form behind his thick spectacles as he said, "I doubt there&039;s an Ae these days who doesn&039;t becoimen of pills of one kind or another I take zinc and vitas"

James Drake nodded and said in his soft voice as he peered through his cigarette sees correct That way you can check on whether you&039;ve taken the second pill of a particular kind If it&039;s in the Friday co the day is Friday - you haven&039;t taken it"

Smith said, "I take only this one kind of pill, which sio - twenty - eight of them - on my doctor&039;s prescription I was frankly skeptical, but they helped me tremendously and I persuaded my doctor to prescribe the, I put twenty - eight into inal vial, which I carry with me everywhere and at all times and which I still use I know at all tiht now, I should have four left, having just taken the twenty - fourth of the week, and I do In three years, I&039;ve missed a pill only twice"

"I," said Rubin, loftily, "have not yet reached that pitch of senility that requires any mnemonic devices at all"

"No?" asked Mario Gonzalo, spearing his last bit of baba au rhuer Halsted, as hosting the banquet that night, forestalled Rubin&039;s rejoinder by saying, hastily, "There&039;s an interesting point to benumbers of people pump themselves full of chemicals, there must be fewer and fewer people with untarowled Thomas Trumbull "The food we eat is loaded with additives The water we drink has purifying chemicals The air we breathe is half pollution of one sort or another If you could analyze an individual&039;s blood carefully enough, you could probably tell where he lived, what he eats, what medicines he takes"

S Gonzalo had taken full advantage of in preparing his caricature of the evening&039;s guest Now Shtfully, and said, "Maybe you could file everyone&039;s detailed blood pattern in some computer bank Then if all else fails, your blood would be your identification The pattern would be entered into the computer which would compare it with all those in its memory files and, within a , The man you have here is John Smith of Fairfield, Connecticut,&039; and I would stand up and bow"

Trumbull said, "If you could stand up and bow, you could stand up and identify yourself Why bother with a blood pattern?"

"Oh, yes?" said Sriet involved in this Henry is distributing the brandy and it&039;s past ti Jeff, will you assulad to," said Avalon in hiseyebrows over his eyes, Avalon said, with incongruous mildness, "And just how do you justify your existence, Mr Smith?"

"Well," said S business I did ith it, sold it profitably, invested wisely, and now live in early retirerown children, each on his own I toil not, neither do I spin and, like the lilies of the field, my justification is rin of self - ly face

Avalon said, indulgently, "I suppose we can pass that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Your name is John Smith?"

"And I can prove it," said Smith quickly "Name your poison I have my card, a driver&039;s license, a variety of credit cards, some personal letters addressed to me, a library card, and so on"

"I a to accept your word, sir, but it occurs to me that with a nans of cynical disbelief - from hotel clerks, for instance Do you have aMy parents felt that any randeur I won&039;t deny that there haven&039;t been tied to saypasses Of the Smiths I am, and of that tribe - variety, John - I remain"

Avalon cleared his throat portentously and said, "And yet, Mr Smith, I feel you have reason to feel annoyance at your naestion that you could merely announce your name and make the blood identification unnecessary with a clear tone of annoyance Have you had some special occasion of late when you failed to identify yourself?"

Truerness to demonstrate your ability to prove your identity would show that some past failure to do so rankles"

Smith stared around the table in astonishment, "Good God, does it show that much?"

Halsted said, "No, John, it doesn&039;t, but this group has developed a sixth sense about mysteries I told you when you accepteda skeleton in your closet, they&039;d have it out of you"

"And I told you, Roger," said Smith, "that I had no mystery about me"

"And the matter of inability to prove identity?" said Rubin

"Was a night I&039;ve been asked not to talk about"

Avalon said, "Anything mentioned within the four walls of a Black Widowers banquet represents privileged communication Feel free"

"I can&039;t" Smith paused, then said, "Look, I don&039;t knohat it&039;s all about I think I wasEurope and after I got out of the nightmare, I was visited by someone froh come to think of it, there is a mystery of a sort"

"Ah," said Avalon, "and what ot out of the night pleased and animated, said, "Tell us what happened and I&039;ll bet we tell you how you got out of it"

"I can&039;t very well -" began S attempted to wither Gonzalo, turned to Ss, Mr Smith," he said "Suppose you omit the name of the country involved and the exact dates and any other such identifiable paraphernalia Just tell it as a story out of the Arabian Nights - if the nighterous detail"

Sentlemen, if the ine ways in which it ht - how can I be sure you are all to be trusted?"

Halsted said, "If you trust me, John, I&039;ll vouch for the rest of the Black Widowers - including, of course, Henry, our estee at the sideboard, sently

Smith was visibly teet this off my chest - "

"If you choose not to," said Halsted, "I&039;m afraid the banquet ends The terms of the invitation were that you were to answer all questions truthfully"

S designed to huht - but have it your way"

"I was visiting Europe last year," said Smith, "and I&039;ll put the location and date no closer than that I was a recent er, a little lost without my wife, and rather deterain I had not been much of a traveller before my retirement and I was anxious to make up for that

"I travelled alone and I was a tourist Nothing more than that I want to stress that in all truthfulness I was not serving any organ of the governovernment, not just my own - either officially or unofficially Nor was I there to gather inforanization I was a tourist and nothing more and so steeped in innocence that I suppose it was too et into trouble

"I could not speak the language of the country but that didn&039;t bother lish and I have the usual provincial Ah There would always be solish - And as a matter of fact, that always proved to be correct

"The hotel I stayed at was reasonably con an aura about it that I kneould not feel at home - but then I didn&039;t expect to feel at hoh that didn&039;t bother age and then it was ho, for the great foreign spaces where I could get to know the people

"The ht be called - spoke an odd version of English that, with a little thought, could be understood I got a list of tourist attractions from him, some recolish, so I doubted it would do eneral assertions as to how safe the city was and how friendly the inhabitants

"I ier to ierously In the nineteenth century they thought every American city lay under imminent threat of Indian massacre; in the first half of the twentieth century, every one was full of Chicago gangsters; and now they are all full of indiscriers So I wandered off into the city cheerfully"

"Alone? Without knowing the language?" said Avalon, with manifest disapproval "What ti draard by a cosht in the implication, Mr Avalon Cities are never as safe as their boosters claih The world was full of poetry and I was enjoying ns of all kinds on buildings and in store s that were beginning to be lit up in defense against the night Since I could read none of them, I was spared their deadly prosiness

"The people were friendly I would s - I presuain and nod and wave It was a beautiful,and I was absolutely euphoric

"I don&039;t kno long I alking or how far I had gone before I was quite convinced that I was lost, but even that didn&039;t bother me I stepped into a tavern to ask o and whose naly memorized I called out the nauely in various directions and shrugged my shoulders and tried to indicate that I had lost athered around and one of thelish if I was an American I said I was and he translated that jubilantly to the others, who seehted

"He said, &039;We don&039;t seewhere I was fro to stand led Banner&039; because they seemed to expect it and it was a real love feast I did have a drink on an eot even love - feastier

"They told me the restaurant I asked for was very expensive, and not very good, and that I should eat right there and they would order for me and it would be on the house It was hands across the sea and building bridges, you know, and I doubt if I had ever been happier since before Regina had died I had another drink or two

"And then after that ain It was quite dark, much cooler There were almost no people about, I had no idea where I was, and every idea that I had a splitting headache

"I sat down in a doorway and knew, even before I felt for it, that one So was my atch, my pens - In fact, my trousers pockets were empty and so were my jacket pockets I had been Mickey Finned and rolled by my dear friends across the sea and they had probably taken me by car to a distant part of the city and dumped me

"The money taken was not terribly vital My main supply was safely back in the hotel Still I had no money at the moment, I didn&039;t knohere I was, I didn&039;t remember the name of the hotel, I felt woozy, sick, and in pain - and I needed help

"I looked for a police that looked like a uniform If I had found a street cleaner, or a bus conductor, he could direct me or, better, take me to a police station

"I found a policeine, numerous and deliberately visible in that particular city And I was then taken to a police station - in the equivalent of a paddy wagon, I think My in to re on a bench in what I guessed to be the police station No one was paying much attention to me and my headache was a little better

"A rather short ed in conversation with a man behind a massive desk, then approached me He seelish and quite well, too, though he had a disconcertingly British accent

"I followed hi, and there the questioning began It was the questioning that was the nightly, if distantly, polite He told me his naan with a V, so I&039;ll just call him &039;Vee&039; if I have to

"He said, &039;You say your name is John Smith&039;

"&039;Yes&039;

"He didn&039;t exactly smile He said, "It is a very common name in the United States and, I understand, is frequently assuation"

"&039;It is frequently assumed because it is common,&039; I said, &039;and since it is common, why shouldn&039;t I be one of the hundreds of thousands who bear it?&039;

""You have identification?&039;

""I&039;ve been robbed I&039;ve come in to complain - &039;

"Vee raised his hand and h his mustache &039;Your co to do with the people here They merely made sure you were not wounded and then sent for me They have not searched you or questioned you It is not their job Now - do you have identification?&039;

"Wearily, and quietly, I told him what had happened

"&039;Then,&039; he said, &039;you have nothing hich to support your statement that you are John Smith of Fairfield, Connecticut?&039;

"&039;Who else should I be?&039;

"&039;That ould like to find out You say you were mistreated in a tavern Its location, please&039;

"&039;I don&039;t know&039;

"&039;Its name?&039;

"&039;I don&039;t know&039;

"&039;What were you doing there?"

"&039;I told you I was h the city - &039;

"&039;Alone?&039;

"&039;Yes, alone I told you&039;

"&039;Your starting point?"

""My hotel&039;

"&039;And you have identification there?"

"&039;Certainly My passport is there and all s&039;

"&039;The name of the hotel?&039;

"I winced at that Even to myself my ansould seem too much to accept &039;I can&039;t recall,&039; I said in a low voice

"&039;Its location?&039;

"&039;I don&039;t know"

"Vee sighed He looked at ht his eyes seemed sad, but perhaps it was only myopia

"He said, &039;The basic question is: What is your name? We must have some identification or this becomes a serious matter Letcompels me to do so, but I am not in love with every aspect of my work and I shall sleep better if I er&039;