Page 27 (1/2)

She pulled out her phone and began to press nu?" I asked

Bzzzzz! "Ow!"

She closed the phone "You weren’t kidding"

I put er in her face "I hate you"

"You can’t hate ht now" She held her hands up with palesture thatto do, pull it out?" I spat

She snorted "I don’tit out?"

"Of course I’ve tried pulling it out I fitfist up there"

"Whoa--didn’t need to know that TMI"

"Oh, and it’s not TMI to tell you that I have an entire so in there and try to use sos?"

"Well?" she said,to consider

"I have squatted over the toilet, I have reached up with h lube inside me to have sex every day for the next five years and not feel a fucking thing I’ve tried everything, Darla, trust me You don’t walk around with a s"

She looked thoughtful for a el?"

I did one involuntarily on the spot "Yes, why? That’ll just keep it in more, not push it out"

"No, I just wonder if you could open an app with the right kegels, you know, like, work those s, and you know, see if you could…"

"Get out"

She held up her hands "It’s funny! You’ve gotta admit it’s funny, A I have an entire phone in i-na"

"Yeah," she said, suddenly soain

"Don’t you dare buzztoto help you"

"Who’re you going to call?"

"A doctor"

"A doctor? I don’t want a…"

"A her hand on o to the ER"

"Noooo" I’d wiggled my way over to the bathroo out, but all I had was a shower I couldn’t go to the ER It would show up on my insurance forms and my mom would ask me why, and – the horror I was about to becoend "All I wanted was to uy," I cried

"Isn’t that e all just want?," Darla said, philosophically "Don’t you have any other sex toys, though? Maybe that…"

"I can’t find them I have this whole collection, but I moved, and without my trusty Rabbit I…"

Her hand went back up "Okay, againTMI"

"You asked!"

"All right, fair enough, I did ask" She hunched her shoulders up in defense "So you downloaded an app and used your phone?"

"Yeah"

"Aaaaannnd… you pushed…"

"Yeah," I said

"And then what?"

"I don’t want to say," I groaned "I don’t want to say what happened next"

"What? You wanted so in…"

"Yeah" I waved my hands away "Now this is TMI"

"Well, I kinda have to know"

"Why do you have to know?"

"You’re right, I don’t have to know," she ado to an ER"

"I can’t," I said "I just can’t"

"But Aain

"So who are you calling?" I groaned

"My aunt"

"Your aunt?"

"Shush I know a doctor who’s a gynecologist, and he ht be able to help Give me a minute" She dialed a few numbers and then waited "Hey, Josie," she said "Yeah, Ona little late, I had to…I have to…" She looked over atI have to take care of Is Alex on call anywhere right now? Or workin’ a shift at any of the hospitals? Oh, yeah? He is? Yeah, you knohich one? All right Yeah, you think I can give him a call? Phone’s the sa you have to worry about No No, I don’t have anything that requires antibiotics No Yes, they use con-yes, we are careful all the tinant"Her shoulders slu he can help with Yes, a friend No, I’ the word ‘friend’ as code" Darla’s eyes rolled so high in her sockets that she could have changed the light bulb in the light fixture "All right, fine, thanks Bye"

"Your aunt has great faith in you," I said