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The child, her son, needed her She would protect it with all she had

With her hands resting on her great belly, she supervised the decorating of the nursery Pale green walls and white lace curtains A rocking horse imported from Paris, a crib handmade in Italy

She tucked tiny clothes into the miniature wardrobe Irish and Breton lace, French silks All were rammed with exquisite einald Conner

She would have a son So at last of her own Soether, she and her beautiful boy She would show hio to the best schools He was her pride, her joy, and her heart And if through that steainald came to the house on South Main less and less, it was just as well

He was only a rew inside her was a son

She would never be alone again

When she felt the pangs of labor, she had no fear Through the sweaty hours of pain, she held one thing in the front of her mind Her James Her son Her child

Her eyes blurred with exhaustion, and the heat, a living, breathing monster, was somehoorse than the pain

She could see the doctor and thelooks But she was young, she was healthy, and she would do this thing

There was no ti shadows around the rooh the waves of exhaustion, a thin cry

"My son" Tears slid down her cheeks "My son"

The , "Lie still now Drink a bit Rest now"

She sipped to soothe her fiery throat, tasted laudanu off, deep down Far away

When she woke, the rooht over the s When she stirred, the doctor rose from his chair, came close to lift her hand, to check her pulse

"My son My baby I want to see my baby"

"I&039;ll send for so tiry Have hiht to me"

"Madam" The doctor sat on the side of the bed His eyes seemed very pale, very troubled "I&039;m sorry The child was stillborn"

What clutched her heart was rief and fear

"I heard hi to me?"

"She never cried" Gently, he took her hands "Your labor was long and difficult You were delirious at the end of it Madairl, stillborn"

She wouldn&039;t believe it She screaed and wept, and was sedated only to wake to screaain

She hadn&039;t wanted the child And then she&039;d wanted nothing else

Her grief was beyond name, beyond reason

Grief drove her mad