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The eyes are open and eh arch, a narrow bridge, a round tip The lips are blue The face itself is so other than hus burn; my next breath rattles on the way in Al

"One of the initiates," says so that happens every year," soe"

"Don’t be so morbid Could have been an accident"

"They found him in the middle of the chasm You think he tripped over his shoelace and…whoopsies, just stuet tighter and tighter aroundto hurt Someone kneels next to Al’s face and pushes his eyelids shut Trying to , maybe Stupid Why do people want to pretend that death is sleep? It isn’t It isn’t

So, can’t breathe I sink to the ground, dragging Christina doith , a ht Should have known Still can’t breathe I press both palms to my chest and rock back and forth to free the tension in my chest

When I blink, I see the top of Al’s head as he carrieshall I feel the bounce of his footsteps He is big and war froht a large black bag to put the body in I can tell that it will be too sh rises inAl’s too big for the body bag; what a tragedy Halfway through the laugh, I claroan I pull round I run

"Here you go," Tori says She handsthat sers prickling armth

She sits down across from me When it comes to funerals, the Dauntless don’t waste any tie death as soon as it happens There are no people in the front roo with people, most of them drunk I don’t knohy that surprises me

At hoathers to support the deceased’s fahter, or shouting, or joking And the Abnegation don’t drink alcohol, so everyone is sober It makes sense that funerals would be the opposite here

"Drink it," she says "It will make you feel better, I promise"

"I don’t think tea is the solution," I say slowly But I sip it anyway It warms my mouth and my throat and trickles into my stomach I didn’t realize how deeply cold I was until I wasn’t anyood’" She smiles at me, but the corners of her eyes don’t crinkle like they usually do "I don’t think ‘good’ will happen for a while"

I bitedid it take for you to be okay again, after your brother…"

"Don’t know" She shakes her head "Some days I feel like I’m still not okay Some days I feel fine Happy, even It took h"

"Why did you stop?" I ask

Her eyes go vacant as she stares at the wall behindfor a few seconds and then says, "I don’t think of it as stopping More like I’ for my opportunity"

She comes out of her daze and checks her watch

"Tio," she says

I pour the rest of , I realize that I’ood My hands usually shake before I start to cry, and I can’t cry in front of everyone

I follow Tori out of the tattoo place and down the path to the Pit floor All the people that were e now, and the air smells potently of alcohol The wo her balance, and then erupts into giggles as she falls against the rabs my arm and steers me away

I find Uriah, Will, and Christina standing a the other initiates Christina’s eyes are swollen Uriah is holding a silver flask He offers it to me I shake my head

"Surprise, surprise," says Molly froes Peter with her elbow "Once a Stiff, always a Stiff"

I should ignore her Her opinions shouldn’tarticle today," she says, leaning closer toabout your dad, and the real reason you left your old faction"

Defendingon my mind But it is the easiest one to address

I twist, andfro to punch her I don’t rees at rabs her collar and pulls her back He looks from her to me and says, "Quit it Both of you"

Part of ht would be a welco onto a box next to the railing I face hi my arms to keep ation no one has committed suicide in recent memory, but the faction’s stance on it is clear: Suicide, to them, is an act of selfishness Someone who is truly selfless does not think of hih to desire death No one would say that aloud, if it happened, but everyone would think it

"Quiet down, everyone!" shouts Eric Soradually stop, though the mutters don’t Eric says, "Thank you As you knoe’re here because Albert, an initiate, juht"

Thejust the rush of water in the chasm

"We do not knohy," says Eric, "and it would be easy to ht But we did not choose a life of ease e became Dauntless And the truth of it is…" Eric senuine But I do know hi an unknown, uncertain place He leaped into vicious waters to get there Who ah to venture into that darkness without knohat lies beyond it? Albert was not yet one of our members, but we can be assured that he was one of our bravest!"

A cry rises from the center of the crowd, and a whoop The Dauntless cheer at varying pitches, high and low, bright and deep Their roar mimics the roar of the water Christina takes the flask from Uriah and drinks Will slides his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his side Voices fill my ears

"We will celebrate him now, and remember him always!" yells Eric Someone hands hieous!"

"To Albert!" shouts the crowd Arms lift all around me, and the Dauntless chant his name "Albert! Al-bert! Al-bert!" They chant until his naer sounds like his name It sounds like the primal scream of an ancient race