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I turn away froer

I don’t knohere I’ anywhere at all, just away I walk down a dark hallway At the end is the drinking fountain, bathed in the blue glow of the light above it

I shakeweakness and leaving Dauntless, no matter what shame accompanied it Pride is what killed Al, and it is the flaw in every Dauntless heart It is in h me, and I turn around Four stands behind ives hi shadows under his cheekbones

"What are you doing here?" I ask "Shouldn’t you be paying your respects?"

I say it like it tastes bad and I have to spit it out

"Shouldn’t you?" he says He steps toward ht

"Can’t pay respect when you don’t have any," I reply I feel a twinge of guilt and shakeby the look he gives me, he doesn’t believe me I don’t bla intoit brave? Eric, who tried to have you throw knives at Al’s head?" I taste bile Eric’s false smiles, his artificial words, his twisted ideals--they make me want to be sick "He wasn’t brave! He was depressed and a coward and he al we respect here?"

"What do you want them to do?" he says "Condemn him? Al’s already dead He can’t hear it and it’s too late"

"It’s not about Al," I snap "It’s about everyone watching! Everyone who now sees hurling themselves into the chasm as a viable option I mean, why not do it if everyone calls you a hero afterward? Why not do it if everyone will remember your name? It’s…I can’t…"

I shake my head My face burns and my heart pounds, and I try to keep myself under control, but I can’t

"This would never have happened in Abnegation!" I almost shout "None of it! Never This place warped hi that makes me a Stiff, I don’t care, I don’t care!"

Four’s eyes shift to the wall above the drinking fountain

"Careful, Tris," he says, his eyes still on the wall

"Is that all you can say?" I de at him "That I should be careful? That’s it?"

"You’re as bad as the Candor, you know that?" He grabsfountain His hand hurts h to pull away

His face is so close tohis nose "I’ain, so listen carefully" He sets his hands onI feel s you You, in particular"

"Let go ofapart, and he straightens Sounstable inside of hierous

"Are they watching you, too?" I say, so quietly he wouldn’t be able to hearso close

He doesn’t answerto help you," he says, "but you refuse to be helped"

"Oh, right Your help," I say "Stabbingat me more than you yell at anyone else, it sure is helpful"

"Taunting you? Youyou," he snaps "I was re you that if you failed, someone else would have to take your place"

I cup the back of my neck with my hand and think back to the knife incident Every tiave up, Al would have to take et

"Why?" I say

"Because you’re fro selflessly that you are at your bravest"

I understand now He wasn’t persuadinght makes me ache now Protect Al My friend My attacker

I can’t hate Al as ive him either

"If I were you, I would do a better job of pretending that selfless i people discover it…well, it won’t be good for you"

"Why? Why do they care aboutthey care about They try to make you think they care about what you do, but they don’t They don’t want you to act a certain way They want you to think a certain way So you’re easy to understand So you won’t pose a threat to them" He presses a hand to the wall next to h that I can see his collarbone and the faint depression between his shoulder muscle and his bicep

I wish I was taller If I was tall, my narrow build would be described as "y" instead of "childish," and he ht not see me as a little sister he needs to protect

I don’t want him to see me as his sister

"I don’t understand," I say, "why they care what I think, as long as I’ how they want you to now," he says, "but what happens when your Abnegation-wired brain tells you to do so they don’t want?"

I don’t have an answer to that, and I don’t even know if he’s right about ation, or the Dauntless?

Maybe the answer is neither Maybe I aht not need you to help me Ever think about that?" I say "I’m not weak, you know I can do this on my own"

He shakes his head "You think my first instinct is to protect you Because you’re s"

He leans his face close to ers around my chin His hand sun, or a knife? My skin tingles at the point of contact, like he’s transh his skin