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"No, it isn’t" I’ about it
"Didn’t know you had a tattoo," he says, looking at my collarbone
He sips the bottle His breath smells thick and sharp Like the factionless lances over his shoulder at his friends, who are carrying on without hi out with us, but you’re not supposed to see me this way"
I a out with hi to do with the bottle in his hand
"What way?" I ask "Drunk?"
"Yeah…well, no" His voice softens "Real, I guess"
"I’ll pretend I didn’t"
"Nice of you" He puts his lips next to ood, Tris"
His words surpriseby the way his eyes slide over h "Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?"
"Of course" He winks at me
I can’t help it I smile Will clears his throat, but I don’t want to turn away from Four, even when he walks back to his friends
Then Al rushes atboulder and throws me over his shoulder I shriek, irl," he says, "I’ you to dinner"
I rest my elbows on Al’s back and wave at Four as he carries ht I would rescue you," Al says as alk away He setsto sound lighthearted, but he asks the question almost sadly He still cares too much about me
"Yeah, I think we’d all like to know the answer to that question," says Christina in a singsong voice "What did he say to you?"
"Nothing" I shake " I clearIt’s…funny to see hiht," says Will "Couldn’t possibly be because--"
I elbow Will hard in the ribs before he can finish his sentence He was close enough to hear what Four said toeveryone about it, especially not Al I don’t want to make him feel worse
At hohts with hborhood kids My father helped Caleb with his homework There was a fire in the fireplace and peace inexactly what I was supposed to be doing, and everything was quiet
I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the cla at once Peace is restrained; this is free
CHAPTER TWENTY
I BREATHE THROUGH my nose In, out In
"It’s just a si The last sihts I had in the simulation--terror and helplessness, which I suspect is what I am really afraid of Sudden fits of terror in the shower, at breakfast, on the way here Nails bitten down so far my nail beds ache And I am not the only one who feels this way; I can tell
Still I nod and closeI remember is the metal chair and the needle in my arm This time there is no field; there are no crows My heart pounds in anticipation What monsters will creep fro will I have to wait for thehts up a few feet ahead of ht I am on the Pit floor, next to the chasm, and the initiates stand around me, their arms folded and their faces blank I search for Christina and find her standing a theht
I see so in front of lass, cool and slass box I press above e I am sealed in
My heart beats faster I don’t want to be trapped Someone taps on the wall in front of
A few seconds ago, my feet were dry, but now I stand in half an inch of water, andfro up fros He joins the crowd of initiates
The water rises fast It now covers lass with my fist
"Hey!" I say "Let me out of here!"
The water slides up lass harder
"Get me out of here!"
I stare at Christina She leans over to Peter, who stands beside her, and whispers soh
The water covers lass I’ to break out Frantic, I bang against the glass as hard as I can I step back and throw my shoulder into the wall, once, twice, three times, four ti for help, watching the water rise to e, my chest
"Help!" I screalass I will die in this tank I drag hthe initiates, and so he said Colass It’s hard to breathe, but I have to try I’ll need as et in a few seconds
My body rises, weightless in the water I float closer to the ceiling and tilt , I pressin asme into the box
Don’t panic It’s no use--hts scatter I thrash in the water, slass as hard as I can, but the water slon my foot The simulation is all in your head
I scream, and water fills my mouth If it’s in my head, I control it The water burns my eyes The initiates’ passive faces stare back at ain and shove the ithsound When I pull lass I slam h the glass, this one spreading outward froers My chest burns like I just sed fire I kick the wall My toes ache froroan