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"That isn’t overco cowardice! Cowardice is how you decide to be in real life, and in real life, I a pecked to death by crows, Four!" I press my palms to , just stands there as I cry It only takes o home," I say weakly

But home is not an option anymore My choices are here or the factionless slums

He doesn’t look at me with sympathy He just looks at me His eyes look black in the dim corridor, and hishow to think in the midst of fear," he says, "is a lesson that everyone, even your Stiff fa to teach you If you can’t learn it, you’ll need to get the hell out of here, because on’t want you"

"I’"

He sighs "How long do you think you spent in that hallucination, Tris?"

"I don’t know" I shake my head "A half hour?"

"Three ot out three times faster than the other initiates Whatever you are, you’re not a failure"

Three minutes?

He smiles a little "Tomorrow you’ll be better at this You’ll see"

"Touides h et the birds for a moment

"What was your first hallucination?" I say, glancing at him

"It wasn’t a ‘what’ so s "It’s not important"

"And are you over that fear now?"

"Not yet" We reach the door to the dor his hands into his pockets "I o away?"

"Sometimes they do And sometimes new fears replace the fearless isn’t the point That’s i how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, that’s the point"

I nod I used to think the Dauntless were fearless That is how they seemed, anyway But maybe what I saw as fearless was actually fear under control

"Anyway, your fears are rarely what they appear to be in the simulation," he adds

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you really afraid of crows?" he says, half set he’s?"

"No I guess not" I think about stepping closer to him, not for any practical reason, but just because I want to see what it would be like to stand that close to him; just because I want to

Foolish, a voice in ainst the wall too, tilting my head sideways to look at him As I did on the Ferris wheel, I know exactly how much space there is between us Six inches I lean Less than six inches I feel wary that I ah to feel

"So what am I really afraid of?" I say

"I don’t know," he says "Only you can know"

I nod slowly There are a dozen things it could be, but I’ht one

"I didn’t know beco Dauntless would be this difficult," I say, and a second later, I am surprised that I said it; surprised that I admitted to it I bite the inside of my cheek and watch Four carefully Was it a mistake to tell him that?

"It wasn’t always like this, I’ a shoulder My ad Dauntless, I ed?"

"The leadership," he says "The person who controls training sets the standard of Dauntless behavior Six years ago Max and the other leaders changed the training methods to make them more competitive and th And that changed the priorities of Dauntless as a whole Bet you can’t guess who the leaders’ new protégé is"

The answer is obvious: Eric They trained him to be vicious, and noill train the rest of us to be vicious too

I look at Four Their training didn’t work on him

"So if you were ranked first in your initiate class," I say, "as Eric’s rank?"

"Second"

"So he was their second choice for leadership" I nod slowly "And you were their first"

"Whatat dinner the first night Jealous, even though he has what he wants"

Four doesn’t contradict ht I want to ask why he didn’t take the position the leaders offered him; why he is so resistant to leadership when he seems to be a natural leader But I kno Four feels about personal questions

I sniff, wipe my face one more time, and smooth down ?" I say

"H his eyes like he’s inspecting s at the corner of histhe same air--if I could remember to breathe

"No, Tris," he says A more serious look replaces his sh as nails"

CHAPTER NINETEEN

WHEN I WALK IN, most of the other initiates--Dauntless-born and transfer alike--are crowded between the rows of bunk beds with Peter at their center He holds a piece of paper in both hands