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BACK IN THE CELL I cooperated and let theht the silence and darkness would helpthe short walk back

The longer I&039;ve been left, the ain Don&039;t knoho or what I believe anymore I can&039;t understand why I didn&039;t kill Mallon when I had the chance, but at the same time I know that while I&039;m here, he really is my best and only hope He hasn&039;t screwed me over so far But if he does, now he thinks I trust him, I&039;ll kill him before he even realizes I&039;ve turned

I&039;m still chained to the bed, but now the shackles are only loosely anchored to the metal bed frame, and I&039;m able to move around I&039;ve been able to move the board and look outside for the first tily limited All I can see from thisare the redbrick walls of other parts of this building and the gray slate roof of another section below I can see a few other s, and I&039;ve been watching theht of other people like me I haven&039;t seen anyone else yet It&039;s dark now Maybe I&039;ll seeStill can&039;t think straight and work this out The lines bethat I feel and what I know are blurring to the point where I can&039;tbetween feeling anger and frustration that I didn&039;t kill Mallon, then wanting hiain so we can talk some more I want him to tell me what he knows about Ellis, but at the sa out I don&039;t even think he has the means to find out, but I can&039;t rule out the fact that he ht Maybe I&039;ll just kill him when he next comes into this roo around

I sit back on the bed (I&039;ve turned the , tracing the faain If I killed Mallon (and I know I could), ould it achieve? I still don&039;t knohere I aed, all of them armed to the teeth I could be dead before Mallon&039;s body is cold No, as hard as it is to s, right now he&039;s all I&039;ve got

But what does he really want fro this? He&039;s alreadyhe wants, so is he still playing ames just for the hell of it, or does he think he can house-train me like a pet? When you consider all the options, other than looking for a "cure" or resorting to exter to learn how to tame or control us is probably the only viable option the Unchanged think they have left

So what do I do?

I&039; around this place unchained, ed I picture myself in a crowded roo myself to sn the fear and hold the Hate I look into their faces, their stupid, evil, ignorant faces, and none of them knoho or what I ath of our reactions to be able to see e are But we, on the other hand, si spoken

Fuck The penny drops

The enormity of today suddenly hits me like a hammer blow Does Mallon even realize what he&039;s done?

Today I resisted the teardless of the reasons why, I stayed in control and didn&039;t fight And if I truly can hold the Hate, then in ti I could walk ae that would give me I could stand shoulder to shoulder with the ene, kill anyone

But can I do it? Can I really chose to hold the Hate at will? Or did Mallon just catch me at my weakest ebb?

I think back to that moment earlier today when I could have killed him but didn&039;t I wanted to do it, but I stopped myself And it wasn&039;t Mallon&039;s words that stopped ain, I know I could

It doesn&039;t matter what I believe, whether or not I subscribe to Mallon&039;s bullshit theories of breaking the cycle and not fighting fire with fire; the fact is he&039;s handed control back to e of it