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I&039; myself to leave The reality of what has happened is finally hitting home The adrenaline and nervous fear has disappeared and now I&039; empty, confused and scared

I&039;ve realised I&039;ve lost everything

I&039; around It&039;s too painful I can&039;t put into words how this isdistance but soone and I&039;ll never be with the, just a cheap plastic haift - and it fills ave us some money We were out late and we filled the kids up with fast food It was the first time Josh had had a meal to hi with this bloody toy than he did eating his burger

I have to let theh to the bedroo I&039;ve packed up off the bed The wardrobe door is open I look along Lizzie&039;s clothes rail and all the different outfits I see re sadness All the memories I have - every second of the life I&039;ve led since I first

It would have been easier if they&039;d died I knohat I am now, and I know that Lizzie, Edward and Josh are different I don&039;t understand the differences between us, but I know beyond any doubt that they are insurmountable I know that I&039;ll never be with ain As for Ellis she&039;s like et her back

I&039; to shift the body in the kitchen In spite of the hate I saw in Harry&039;s eyes I don&039;t want to leave him like this - half-dressed and twisted and slumped in the corner of the roohten him out but his limbs are stiff and unresponsive I fetch a duvet from the bedroom and drape it over the corpse

While I&039;et up and run to the living room to look out of the broken o army trucks have pulled into the road and I know that I have to get out of here quickly I don&039;t know for sure anyainst me but I can&039;t take any chances What about the wo? Was she like me or like the others? Was she a Hater too?

Move Get o? The trucks are getting closer I swingup onto my shoulder and run out of the flat and into the lobby Where now? Will they check the flats upstairs? Could I risk hiding there? I know I have to get myself away from here and I sprint towards the rear exit I try to open the fire door but it&039;s padlocked shut Christ, how long has it been like that? What would have happened to Lizzie and the kids if there&039;d been a fire? Doesn&039;t ht outside the apart

The door to the other ground floor flat is open I&039;m inside it now and it stinks No-one&039;s lived here officially for the last six ularly by tramps, junkies, dossers and God knoho and what else Its layout is a h to the kitchen and force theabove the sink open I can hear soldiers inside the building now I can hear their heavy booted footsteps in the lobby I scrarown co I run through the long grass to the end of the garden then quickly scraardens of the privately owned houses which back onto us I run along the ends of the gardens until I reach a tall wooden fence I have to try and cli with effort, andover the top of the fence I flick myself over and fall onto the pave shit, litter and weeds I stand up, brush myself down and run on