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"Do you want so to drink?"

She declined with another shake of her head

Jon sat down in the rocking chair beside the swing "We haven't talked in a while"

Maryellen cradled her sleeping daughter "There hasn't been anything to say"

"I'm sorry about the baby" Jon's words were hoarse with emotion He said it so often, and each tiain

"Do you e? There is no baby"

Jon wiped a hand over his face "I bla, Jon You have nothing to feel guilty about These things happen" She repeated what the physician had said, but his words had been of little comfort then and were of less comfort noever, that was all she had to offer her husband

"I was angry and stupid"

Maryellen didn't respond

"You didn't even tell nant You couldn't--because I wouldn't let you"

"Jon, don't Please don't" She was too depressed to hear him punish hinancy that you decided to stay with your mother, isn't it?"

Maryellen refused to answer So h herJon had been so angry with her and so unforgiving He'd refused to even talk about it When she'd left for her le word to stop her The only reason she was at the house noas that he'd brought her here froot out of the chair and started pacing back and forth "Maryellen, please just say so"

She looked up at him, puzzled by his outburst "What do you wantJust don't sit there staring off into the distance I can't stand to see you like this"

"I'"

"For the baby?"

She nodded "And for us"

Jon leaned against the support coluht

"Less than teeks ago, you illing to let Katie and me walk away Remember?"

Jon didn't answer

"I knohat I did in contacting your parents rong," Maryellen whispered, "but I never set out to hurt you All I wanted to do was help"

"I didn't want your help," he shouted, startling Katie who juain

With Maryellen's steady hand on her back, Katie quickly returned to sleep "Let's talk about this another tiain, back and forth, like a man possessed His mouth thinned "I told you before I don't need my parents, don't want them in my life You and Katie are the only family I have"

If what he said was true, then he wouldn't have let her drive away that Saturday afternoon

He held out his hands in silent pleading

As she continued to watch hihtened and seemed to come to some resolution "Do you want a divorce?" he asked suddenly

"No, but I wonder how long our e will last"

Her remark obviously shocked him, aid Maryellen felt she had to explain herself "You so easily cast aside people who love you If you can cut yourself off from your father and stepmother, then you can do it with Katie and me In time you probably will"

"That isn't true" He fell to his knees in front of her, clasping her hands and gazing up at her intently "Look attothat upsets you"

He stood and put distance between them "That's not true"

Maryellen didn't have the will to argue She knew otherwise

"Do you want et what my father did? Is that what you want me to say?"

"No"

"Then what?"

"I want you to have peace," she whispered

"Peace?" He repeated the word as if he'd never heard it before "You want me to have peace or you want me to make peace with my parents?"

"Both," she said, "but until you find peace within yourself, you won't be able to deal with your parents"

"I was perfectly happy with "

Despite herself, Maryellen grinned "You only thought you were"

"I don't need them"

"You kept their letters," she said softly

"I meant to throw theiven you soratification when they wrote letter after letter, and you never answered"

He narrowed his eyes "You don't knohat you're saying"

She shrugged "Perhaps not"

"You want me to make peace with them and I can't I won't I'm sorry, Maryellen, but even for you I can't do it"

Such a lack of forgiveness was frightening to Maryellen "I don't expect you to forget what they did, but forgiving is so else," she said