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'You didn't have to do that,' he said

'I just wanted to get into the spirit of the thing,' said Carrot 'I'm Corporal Carrot and this is the citizens' h'

' 'Scuse me--'

'Except for Lance-Constable Cuddy And Lance-Constable Detritus enjoys a good laugh too, although some minutes after everyone else And we're here to see Dr Whiteface'

The clown's hair rose Water squirted froot an appointment?' he said

'I don't know,' said Carrot 'Have we got an appointot an iron ball with spikes on,' Nobby volunteered

'That's a star, Nobby'

'Is it?'

'Yes,' said Carrot 'An appointstar is a large lu skulls It is important not to confuse the two, isn't it, Mr--?' He raised his eyebrows

'Boffo, sir But--'

'So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr White-face we're here with an iron ball with spi-- What a? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you'

The clown scuttled off

'There,' said Carrot 'Was that all right, sergeant?'

'He's probably going to be satirical, even,' said Colon, morosely

They waited After a while Lance-Constable Cuddy took a screwdriver fro machine bolted to the door The rest of the things on his

Boffo reappeared, flanked by two h they had a sense of humour at all

'Dr Whiteface says there's no such thing as a city militia,' he ventured 'But Um Dr Whiteface says, if it's really important he'll see soangs of trolls and dwarfs terrorizing the city'

'Dat's what they say,' said Detritus, nodding

'Incidentally, do you knohat it is they--' Cuddy began, but Nobby nudged hieant?' said Carrot And you, Lance-Constable Angua'

'Oh dear,' said Sergeant Colon

But they followed Carrot into the soloomy corridors to Dr Whiteface's office The chief of all the clowns, fools and jesters was standing in the middle of the floor, while a jester tried to sew extra sequins on his coat

'Well?'

' 'Evening, doctor,' said Carrot

'I should like toabout this directly,' said Dr Whiteface

'Oh, yes I shall tell hiine why you're botheringin the streets'

Ah, wellwe shall deal with that later But Captain Vi cri and the big cri is to decide which is which'

They stared at one another

'Well?' the clown demanded

'I should like you to tell ht before last'

Dr Whiteface stared at him in silence

Then he said, 'If I don't?'

'Then,' said Carrot, 'I am afraid I shall, with extreiven just before entering'

He glanced at Colon 'That's right, isn't it, sergeant?'

'What? Eh? Well, yes--'

'I would much prefer not to do so, but I have no choice,' said Carrot

Dr Whiteface glared at the two of theht toto'

'I don't know about that, I'm only a corporal,' said Carrot 'But I've never disobeyed a direct order yet, and I am sorry to have to tell you that I will carry out this one fully and to the letter'

'Now, see here--'

Carrot moved a little closer

'If it's any comfort, I'll probably be ashamed about it,' he said

The clown stared into his honest eyes and saw, as did everyone, only simple truth

'Listen! If I shout,' said Dr Whiteface, going red under his makeup, 'I can have a dozen men in here'

'Believe me,' said Carrot, 'that will only make it easier for me to obey'

Dr Whiteface prided hie character In Carrot's resolute expression there was nothing but absolute, meticulous honesty He fiddled with a quill pen and then threw it down in a sudden movement

'Confound it!' he shouted 'How did you find out, eh? Who told you?'

'I really couldn't say,' said Carrot 'But it makes sense anyway There's only one entrance to each Guild, but the Guild Houses are back to back Soh the wall'

'I assure you we didn't know about it,' said the clown

Sergeant Colon was lost in admiration He'd seen people bluff on a bad hand, but he'd never seen anyone bluff with no cards

'We thought it was just a prank,' said the clown 'We thought young Beano had just done it with humorous intent, and then he turned up dead and we didn't--' 'You'd better show me the hole,' said Carrot

The rest of the Watch stood to variations on the theme of At Ease in the courtyard

'Corporal Nobbs?'

'Yes, Lance-Constable Cuddy?'

'What is it everyone says about dwarfs?'

'Oh, coht? Everyone knows that who knows anything about dwarfs,' said Nobby

Cuddy coughed

'Dwarfs don't,' he said

'What do you mean, dwarfs don't?'

'No-one's told us what everyone knows about dwarfs,' said Cuddy

'WellI expect they thought you knew,' said Nobby, weakly

'Not lanced at the trolls, then leaned across to Cuddy and whispered in the approxiion of his ear

Cuddy nodded

'Oh, is that all?'

'Yes Eris it true?'

'What? Oh, yes Of course It's nat'ral for a dwarf Soot more than others, of course'