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All right, no-one panic, just stop what you're doing, stop what you're doing, please I'm Corporal Nobbs, Ankh-Morpork City Ordnance Inspection City Audit--' The piece of paper aved in front of thespeed, and Nobby's voice faltered a bit as he contemplated the end of the sentence, '--BureauSpecialAuditInspection How many people work here?'

'Just me--'

Nobby pointed at the trolls

'What about them?'

The ht you said people'

Carrot stuck out his hand autoainst Detritus' breastplate

'OK,' said Nobby, 'let's see e've got here' He walked fast along the racks, so that everyone else had to run to keep up 'What's this?'

'Er--'

'Don't know, eh?'

'Sureit'sit's'

'A triple-stringed 2,000lb carriage-e crossboith the double-action windlass?'

'Right'

'Isn't this a Klatchian reinforced crossboith the goat-leg cocking mechanism and the underhaft bayonet?'

'Eryeah?'

Nobby gave it a cursory examination, and then tossed it aside

The rest of the Night Watch looked on in astonishment Nobby had never been known to wield any weapon beyond a knife

'Have you got one of those Hershebian twelve-shot boith the gravity feed?' he snapped

'Eh? What you see is e got,crossbow froed as he hauled on the cocking lever

'Sold the bolts for this thing?'

'They're right there!'

Nobby selected one frohted along the shaft He turned

'I like this inventory,' said Nobby 'We'll take it all'

The ua's horrified admiration, didn't faint

'That little bow don't scare me,' he said

'This little bow scare you?' said Nobby 'No Right This is a little bow A little bow like this wouldn't scare a er bow than this to scare a iven a month's pay to see the quartermaster's face from the front She'd watched as Detritus had lifted down the siege bow, cocked it with one hand and a barely audible grunt, and stepped forward Now she could i as the coldness of the metal penetrated the back of the armourer's fleshy red neck

'Now, the one behind you, that's a big bow,' said Nobby

It wasn't as if the six-foot iron arroas sharp It was supposed to sery

'Can I pull the trigger yet?' Detritus rumbled, into thein here! That's a siege weapon! It'd go right through the wall!'

'Eventually,' said Nobby

'What this bit for?' said Detritus

'Now, look--'

'I hope you keep that thing er for ue Especially on the safety catch'

'What are a safety catch?' said Detritus

Everything went quiet

Carrot found his voice, a long way off

'Corporal Nobbs?'

'Yessir?'

'I'll take over froently pushed the siege boay, but Detritus hadn't liked the crack about people and it kept swinging back again

'Now,' said Carrot, 'I don't like this element of coercion We're not here to bully this poorof you to put him in fear Why not just ask?'

'Sorry, sir,' said Nobby

Carrot patted the armourer on the shoulder

'May we take some weapons?' he said

'What?'

'Some weapons? For official purposes?'

The armourer looked unable to cope with this

'You ot a choice?' he said

'Why, certainly We practise policing by consent in Ankh-Morpork If you feel unable to agree to our request, you only have to say the word'

There was a faint bong as the tip of the iron arrow once again bounced on the back of the ar to say, because the only word he could think of right noas 'Fire!'

'Uh,' he said 'Uh Yeah Right Sure Take what you want'

'Fine, fine And Sergeant Colon will give you a receipt, adding of course that you release the weapons of your own free will'

'My own free will?'

'You have absolute choice in the matter, of course'

The itation

'I reckon'

'Yes?'

'I reckon it's OK for you to take 'eht away'

'Good man Do you have a trolley?'

'And do you happen to knohat it is they say about dwarfs?' said Cuddy

It crept over Angua once again that Carrot had no irony in his soul He meant every word If the iven in Of course, there was a bit of a gap between probably and certainly

Nobby was down the end of the row, occasionally squeaking with delight as he found an interesting war ha to hold everything, all at once

Then he dropped the lot and ran forward

'Oh, ! A Klatchian fire engine! This isaround in the gloo a sort of bin on small squeaky wheels It had various handles and fat leathery bags, and a nozzle at the front It looked like a very large kettle

'The leather's been kept greased, too!'

'What is it?' said Carrot

'And there's oil in the reservoir!' Nobby pu had been banned in eight countries and three religions said they'd excoht?'

'Here,' said Carrot, 'but what's--'

'Watch!'

Nobby lit a match, applied it to the tube at the front of the device, and pulled a lever