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'Certainly, luan

Noon in Ankh-Morpork took some time, since twelve o'clock was established by consensus Generally, the first bell to start was that one in the Teachers' Guild, in response to the universal prayers of its members Then the water clock on the Te The black bell in the Temple of Fate struck once, unexpectedly, but by then the silver pedal-driven carillon in the Fools' Guild would be tinkling, the gongs, bells and chi, and it was iueless and ical octiron bell of Old Tom in the Unseen University clock tohose twelve measured silences temporarily overruled the din

And finally, several strokes behind all the others, was the bell of the Assassins' Guild, which was always last

Beside the Patrician, the ornamental sundial chi?' said the Patrician mildly

'Captain Vi an interest'

'Dear me But it is his job'

'Really? I must demand that you call hiarden Several pigeons fleay

'Demand?' said the Patrician, sweetly

Dr Cruces backed and filled desperately 'He is a servant after all,' he said 'I see no reason why he should be allowed to involve himself in affairs that don't concern him'

'I rather believe he thinks he's a servant of the law,' said the Patrician

'He's a jack-in-office and an insolent upstart!'

'DearBut since you de him to heel without delay'

'Thank you'

'Don't mention it Do not let me keep you'

Dr Cruces wandered off in the direction of the Patrician's idle gesture

Lord Vetinari bent over his paperwork again, and did not even look up when there was a distant,a small silver bell

A clerk hurried up

'Go and fetch the ladder, will you, Drumknott?' he said 'Dr Cruces seems to have fallen in the hoho'

The back door to the dwarf Bjorn Hammerhock's workshop lifted off the latch and creaked open He went to see if there was anyone there, and shivered

He shut the door

'Bit of a chilly breeze,' he said, to the room's other occupant 'Still, we could do with it'

The ceiling of the workshop was only about five feet above the floor That was h for a dwarf

Ow, said a voice that no-one heard

Ha clamped in the vice, and picked up a screwdriver

Ow

'A this tube down the barrel forces the, er, six cha hole That seeherehas rusted through I can easily replace that You know,' he said, looking up, 'this is a very interesting device With the chemicals in the tubes and all Such a si? Soh a bin of metal offcuts to find a piece of steel, and then selected a file

'I'd like to make a few sketches afterwards,' he said

About thirty seconds later there was a pop and a cloud of s his head

'That was lucky!' he said 'Could have been a nasty accident there'

He tried to fan soain

His hand went through it

AHEM

Bjorn tried again

The file was as insubstantial as the smoke

'What?'

AHEM

The owner of the strange device was staring in horror at soaze

'Oh,' he said Realization, which had been hovering on the edge of Bjorn's consciousness, finally dawned That was the thing about death When it happened to you, you were arabbed the device fro Then he looked around wildly, picked up the corpse of Mr Hah the door towards the river

There was a distant splash, or as close to a splash as you could get from the Ankh

'Oh dear,' said Bjorn 'And I can't swim, either'

THAT WILL NOT, OF COURSE, BE A PROBLEM, said Death

Bjorn looked at hiht you'd be,' he said

THIS IS BECAUSE I'M KNEELING DOWN, MR HAMMER-HOCK

'That da killed me!'

YES

'That's the first ti like that has ever happened to me' ,

TO ANYONE BUT NOT, I SUSPECT, THE LAST TIME

Death stood up There was a clicking of knee joints He no longer cracked his skull on the ceiling There wasn't a ceiling any ently faded away

There were such things as dwarf gods Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire daods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat Besides, when you hit your thuht-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blasphe-minded kind of atheist to jump up and doith their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, 'Oh, randoh, primitive-and-out-moded-concept on a crutch!'

Bjorn didn't waste tient when you're dead

'I believe in reincarnation,' he said

I KNOW

'I tried to live a good life Does that help?'

THAT IS NOT UP TO ME Death coughed OF COURSESINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATIONYOU'LL BE BJORN AGAIN

He waited

'Yes That's right,' said Bjorn Dwarfs are known for their sense of humour, in a way People point theot a sense of humour'

UM WAS THERE ANYTHING AMUSING IN THE STATEMENT I JUST MADE?

'Uh No NoI don't think so'

IT WAS A PUN, OR PLAY ON WORDS BJORN AGAIN