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'Er, sorry, Mr Edward, I 'ad a few glass plates left and the demons weren't tired and--'

'Next slide, please And then you may leave us'

'Yes, Mr Edward'

'Report to the d-uty torturer'

'Yes, Mr Edward'

Click!

'And this is a rather good – well done, Bl-enkin – ie of the bust of Queen Coanna'

'Thank you, Mr Edward'

'More of her face would have enabled us to be certain of the likeness, however There is sufficient, I believe You o, Bl-enkin'

'Yes, Mr Edward'

'A little so off the ears, I th-ink'

'Yes, Mr Edward'

The servant respectfully shut the door behind hi his head sadly The d'Eaths hadn't been able to afford a family torturer for years For the boy's sake he'd just have to do the best he could with a kitchen knife

The visitors waited for the host to speak, but he didn't seeh it was sometimes hard to tell with Edward When he was excited, he suffered not so much from a speech impediment as fro his mouth on hold

Eventually, one of the audience said: 'Very well So what is your point?'

'You've seen the likeness Isn't it ob-vious?'

'Oh, come now--'

Edward d'Eath pulled a leather case towards his

'But, but the boy was adopted by Discworld dwarfs They found him as a baby in the forests of the Raons, corpses, that sort of thing B-andit attack, apparently The dwarfs found a sword in the wreckage He has it now A very old sword And it's always sharp'

'So? The world is full of old swords And grindstones'

'This one had been very well hidden in one of the carts, which had broken up Strange One would expect it to be ready to hand, yes? To be used? In b-andit country? And then the boy grows up and, andFateconspires that he and his sword come to Ankh-Morpork, where he is currently a watchht Watch I couldn't believe it!'

'That's still not--'

Edward raised his hand a e from the case

'I made careful enq-uiries, you know, and was able to find the place where the attack occurred A round revealed old cart n-ails, a few copper coins and, in some charcoalthis'

They craned to see

'Looks like a ring'

'Yes It's, it's, it's superficially d-iscoloured, of course, otherwise someone would have spot-ted it Probably secreted somewhere on a cart I've had it p-artly cleaned You can just read the inscription Now, here is an ill-ustrated inventory of the royal jewellery of Ankh done in AM 907, in the reign of King Tyrril May I, please,in the b-ottoe? You will see that the artist has hel-pfully drawn the inscription'

It took several minutes for everyone to examine it They were naturally suspicious people They were all descendants of people for whom suspicion and paranoia had been prime survival traits

Because they were all aristocrats Not one areatgrandfather and what e disease he'd died of

They had just eaten a not-very-good meal which had, however, included some ancient and hile wines They'd attended because they'd all knoard's father, and the d'Eaths were a fine old family, if now in very reduced circumstances

'So you see,' said Edward proudly, 'the evidence is overwhel!'

His audience tried to avoid looking at one another's faces

'I thought you'd be pl-eased,' said Edward

Finally, Lord Rust voiced the unspoken consensus There was no room in those true-blue eyes for pity, which was not a survival trait, but sometimes it was possible to risk a little kindness

'Edward,' he said, 'the last king of Ankh-Morpork died centuries ago'

'Executed by t-raitors!'

'Even if a descendant could still be found, the royal blood would be someatered down by now, don't you think?'

'The royal b-lood cannot be wa-tered down!'

Ah, thought Lord Rust So he's that kind Young Edward thinks the touch of a king can cure scrofula, as if royalty was the equivalent of a sulphur oint Edward thinks that there is no lake of blood too big to wade through to put a rightful king on a throne, no deed too base in defence of a crown A romantic, in fact

Lord Rust was not a romantic The Rusts had adapted well to Ankh-Morpork's post- andwhat aristocrats have always done, which is trim sails and survive

'Well,to talk soe, 'but we must ask ourselves: does Ankh-Morpork, at this point in tih he were uishes under the heel of the ty-rant?'

'Oh You mean Vetinari'