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Corporal Carrot, Ankh-Morpork City Guard (Night Watch), sat down in his nightshirt, took up his pencil, sucked the end for a moment, and then wrote:

’Dearest Mume and Dad,

’Well here is another fine Turnup for the Books, for I have been made Corporal!! It means another Five Dollars a month plus also I have a new jerkin with, two stripes upon it as well And a new copper badge! It is a Great responsibility!! This is all because we have got new recruits because the Patrician who, as I have forreed the Watch must reflect the ethnic makeup of the City--’

Carrot paused for a moment and stared out of the sht sidling across the river Then he bent over the paper again

’--which I do not Fulley understand but ust’s Cosmetic Factory Also, Captain Vi the Watch to get married and Become a Fine Gentleht ht et hiht one of those new Watches that don’t need deo and we could inscribe on the back so like "A Watch from, your Old Freinds in the Watch", this is a pune or Play on Words We do not knoill be the new Captain, Sgt Colon says he will Resign if it’s him, Cpl Nobbs--’

Carrot stared out of theagain His big honest forehead wrinkled with effort as he tried to think of so positive to say about Corporal Nobbs

’--is more suited in his current Roll, and I have not been in the Watch long enough So we shall just have to wait and See--’

It began, asround so thick that it poured into the grave and the coffin was lowered into cloud

A sy diseases that it was surrounded by a cloud of dust, watched impassively from the mound of earth

Various elderly female relatives cried But Edward d’Eath didn’t cry, for three reasons He was the eldest son, the thirty-seventh Lord d’Eath, and it was Not Done for a d’Eath to cry; he was – just, the diploma still had the crackle in it – an Assassin, and Assassins didn’t cry at a death, otherwise they’d never be stopping; and he was angry In fact, he was enraged

Enraged at having to borrow ed at the weather, at this coround noise of the city didn’t change in any way, even on such an occasion as this Enraged at history It was never meant to be like this

It shouldn’t have been like this

He looked across the river to the brooding bulk of the Palace, and his anger screwed itself up and became a lens

Edward had been sent to the Assassins’ Guild because they had the best school for those whose social rank is rather higher than their intelligence If he’d been trained as a Fool, he’d have invented satire and erous jokes about the Patrician If he’d been trained as a Thief,[1] he’d have broken into the Palace and stolen so very valuable from the Patrician

Howeverhe’d been sent to the Assassins

That afternoon he sold what reain at the Guild school

For the post-graduate course

He got full marks, the first person in the history of the Guild ever to do so His seniors described hi about hi ay

In the ceer filled in the hole that was the last resting place of d’Eath senior

He becahts in his head They went so like this:

Any chance of a bone? No, no, sorry, bad taste there, forget I ot beef sandwiches in your wossnaive one to the nice little doggy over there?

The reyhim intently

It said, ’Woof?’

It took Edward d’Eath fivefor The search was ha for, only that he’d knohen he found it Edas a great believer in Destiny Such people often are

The Guild library was one of the largest in the city In certain specialized areas it was the largest These areas rettable brevity of hu it about

Edward spent a lot of time there, often at the top of a ladder, often surrounded by dust

He read every knoork on ar for and he found it in a note in the in of an otherwise very dull and inaccurate treatise on the ballistics of crossbows He copied it out, carefully

Edward spent a lot of ti history books as well The Assassins’ Guild was an association of gentleard the whole of recorded history as a kind of stock book There were a great allery of kings and queens,[2] and Edward d’Eath came to know their aristocratic faces better than he did his own He spent his lunch hours there

It was said later that he cae But the secret of the history of Edward d’Eath was that he came under no outside influences at all, unless you count all those dead kings He just came under the influence of hi Individuals aren’t naturally paid-up ically They need to be bounced around by the Brownian s constantly res He was also spiralling inwards, as tends to happen in cases like this

He’d had no plan He’d just retreated, as people do when they feel under attack, to ahappened which had the saoldfish pond would on a student of ancient reptiles