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'I thought so'

Cutwell patted her ineptly on the hand, and Keli was too preoccupied even to notice such flagrant lesè 's fixed History is all worked out, from start to finish What the facts actually are is beside the point; history just rolls straight over the top of thees are already part of it You're dead It's fated You'll just have to accept it'

He gave an apologetic grin 'You're a lot luckier than most dead people, if you look at it objectively,' he said 'You're alive to enjoy it'

'I don't want to accept it Why should I accept it? It's not my fault!'

'You don't understand History is et involved in it any more There isn't a part in it for you, don't you see? Best to let things take their course' He patted her hand again She looked at him He withdrew his hand

'What am I supposed to do then?' she said 'Not eat, because the food wasn't destined to be eaten by me? Go and live in a crypt soreed Cutwell 'That's fate for you, I'm afraid If the world can't sense you, you don't exist I'm a wizard We know --'

'Don't say it'

Keli stood up

Five generations ago one of her ancestor had halted his band of nomadic cutthroats a fewcity with a peculiarly determined expression that said: This'll do Just because you're born in the saddle doesn't ely enough, many of his distinctive features had, by a trick of heredity, been bequeathed to his descendant[3], accounting for her rather idiosyncratic attractiveness They were never more apparent than now Even Cutas impressed When it came to determination, you could have cracked rocks on her jaw

In exactly the same tone of voice that her ancestor had used when he addressed his weary, sweaty followers before the attack[4], she said:

'No No, I' to dwindle into so to help nised that tone It had harmonics in it that made even the or and stand to attention It wasn't voicing an opinion, it was saying: things will be thus

'Me, madam?' he quavered, 'I don't see what I can possibly--'

He was jerked off his chair and out into the street, his robes billowing around him Keli marched towards the palace with her shoulders set deter the wizard behind her like a reluctant puppy It ith such a walk that mothers used to bear down on the local school when their little boy came home with a black eye; it was unstoppable; it was like the March of Time

'What is it you intend?' Cutwell stuttered, horribly aware that there was going to be nothing he could do to resist, whatever it was

'It's your lucky day, wizard'

'Oh Good,' he said weakly

'You've just been appointed Royal Recogniser'

'Oh What does that entail, exactly?'

'You're going to remind everyone I'm alive It's very simple There's three square meals a day and your laundry done Step lively, man'

'Royal?'

'You're a wizard I think there's soht to know,' said the princess

THERE is? said Death

(That was a cine to the princess He was actually in his study, talking to Mort But it was quite effective, wasn't it? It's probably called a fast dissolve, or a crosscut/zoo An industry where a senior technician is called a Best Boy )

AND WHAT IS THAT? he added, winding a bit of black silk around the wicked hook in a little vice he'd clamped to his desk

Mort hesitated Mostly this was because of fear and eht of a hooded spectre peacefully tying dry flies was enough toon the other side of the roo hih a cloud of sullen disapproval He could feel her red-ri into the back of his neck

Death inserted a fe hackles and whistled a busy little tune through his teeth, not having anything else to whistle through He looked up

HMM?

They – didn't go as s nervously on the carpet in front of the desk

You HAD TROUBLE? said Death, snipping off a few scraps of feather

'Well, you see, the witch wouldn't coain'

THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THERE, LAD --

'-- Mort --'

-- YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED OUT BY NOW THAT EVERYONE GETS WHAT THEY THINK IS COMING TO THEM IT'S SO MUCH NEATER THAT WAY

'I know, sir But thatto soood people who fear they're going to some kind of horrible place really suffer It doesn't seem like justice'

WHAT is IT I'VE SAID YOU MUST REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE OUT ON THE DUTY?

'Well, you --'

HMM?

Mort stuttered into silence

THERE'S NO JUSTICE THERE'S JUST YOU

'Well, I --'

YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT

'Yes, but --'

I EXPECT IT ALL WORKS OUT PROPERLY IN THE END I HAVE NEVER MET THE CREATOR, BUT I'M TOLD HE'S QUITE KINDLY DISPOSED TO PEOPLE Death snapped the thread and started to unwind the vice

PUT SUCH THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR MIND, he added AT LEAST THE THIRD ONE SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN YOU ANY TROUBLE

This was thetune There was no sense in concealing it He'd upset the whole future course of history Such things tend to draw theet it off his chest Own up like aabout bush, none of Mercy, throw hilittered at hi to outstare the headlights of a sixteen-wheeled artic whose driver is a twelve-hour caffeine freak outrunning the tachometers of hell

He failed

'No, sir,'he said