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"You need flowers or so," I observed "A bit of color Your office isn’t very welco

"Jocelyn-"

"Joss"

"Joss Why are you here?"

I felt my stomach flip and the cold sweats start and I rushed to re I said to her was private I’d never see her outside this office, and she’d never use et to knowpanic attacks again"

"Again?"

"I used to have theht on by all kinds of anxiety Why then? What was going on in your life?"

I sed past the brick in my throat "My parents and little sister were killed in a car accident I have no other faive a shit – and I spent the rest of my teen years in foster care"

Dr Pritchard had been scribbling as I talked She stopped and looked directly into my eyes "I’m very sorry for your loss, Joss"

I feltpanic attacks Can you tellwith theer? At least, are you aware of one?"

"I don’t allow myself to think about them a lot My family I mean Meue ier the attacks"

"But they stopped?"

I curledabout theht years?"

I shrugged "I can look at pictures, I can have a thought about theether"

"But your panic attacks have started up again?"

"I let uard down I let the ym and then at a friend’s fay to be I started thinking about ood story Sad But I think people would like her Anyway, I had a memory – a few actually – of ood relationship Next thing I know so me off the treadmill"

"And the family dinner? Was that the first fa in foster care?"

"We never really had family dinners in foster care" I smiled humorlessly

"So this was your first faered a es in your life recently, Joss?"

I thought about Ellie and Braden and our coffee o "Ielse?"

"My old roommate, my best friend, Rhian, she ed But that’s about all"

"Were Rhian and you close?"

I shrugged "As close as I allow anyone to get"

She s of her lips "Well that sentence said a lot What about your new flatet close to her or hiht about it I suppose I had let Ellie in more than I’d intended to And I cared about her ht I would "Ellie We’ve beco that Ellie’s friends are cool, and her brother and their crowd hang around a lot I guess my life is more social now"

"Was it Ellie and her brother’s family dinner you had a panic attack at?"

"Yeah"

Dr Pritchard nodded and scribbled so else down

"Well?" I asked

She snosis?"

I raised my brow at her

"Sorry to disappoint, Joss, but we’ve barely scratched the surface"

"You think these changes have soht? I want the panic attacks to stop"

"Joss, you’ve been in my office fifteen minutes and I can already tell you that these panic attacks aren’t going to stop any ti with your family’s death"

What? Well, that was just stupid "I have dealt with it"

"Look, you were sh to know that you have a problem and that you need to talk to soh to realize that burying memories of your faes to daily life, new people, new eer past events Especially if they haven’t been dealt with Spending ti one of your own has broken through whatever wall you’ve put up around your fa fro to ignore"

I grunted "You think I have PTSD The thing that veterans have?"