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"I don’t want to be alone Not when I could have hi--the tightness in"Yeah it does sound cheesy So to call hi up and I lay there in the dark listening After twenty minutes I heardroom empty, the blanket on the couch rolled up A piece of paper lay across it A note froht to the paper and walked numbly back into my bedroo these last feeeks had taught me, it was that I obviously – like Rhian – wasn’t over losing them I had to talk to someone But unlike Rhian, I didn’t want to talk to anyone who could use that crap against h school had tried to help ht I knew best

But I wasn’t a kid anymore, and I didn’t know best And if I wanted the panic attacks to stop, I needed to

~7~

"So, Mystery Man is gone?" The voice scared the bejesus out ofonto the counter

I threw Braden a withering look over my shoulder "Don’t you ever work? Or knock?"

He was slouched against the kitchen dooratching et one?" he nodded to the kettle

"What do you take?"

"Milk Two sugars"

"And here I was expecting you to say black"

"If anyone is black around here, it’s you"

I runted "So else?" I duhter hit ht"

As the kettle brewed, I turned around, leaning against the counter with my arms crossed overa bra under my camisole In fact, I didn’t think I had ever been more aware of my body than I hen I was around Braden To be honest, I’d stopped caring about my appearance and all the shit that came with it after my parents and Beth died I hat I liked, I looked the way I looked, and I didn’t give a rat’s ass what any guy thought So in front of Braden, I realized I wasn’t so confident about that anyht about lamazon’s that surely orbited Braden’s world I wasn’t tiny, but I wasn’t tall I had slender legs and a sood hair on the days I could be bothered wearing it down, but those days came few and far between It was an indiscriminate color--so and thick with a natural curl in it However, my hair was so heavy it tended to annoy me unless it was up off my neck, so I rarely, if ever, wore it loose My eyes were probably my best feature--at least that’s what people told rey with streaks of gun-e and adorable like Holly’s and Ellie’s--they were tip-tilted and feline, and they were extrela about being extraordinary had never crossedme care… kind of pissed me off

"Seriously, don’t you work?"

He stood up from the doorframe and casually sauntered towards me He was in another fantastic three-piece suit Someone as tall and as broad-shouldered as him should have probably looked more at home in jeans and flannel, especially with the messy hair and stubble, but God he worked that suit As he approached, I founds apart, pressing into ue inbetweenthe kettle to boil faster

"I have ato a stop beside ht I’d stop by and see if everything was okay Things seeht before Ellie and I left"

I watched hi to decide whether or not to tell hi," Ellie chirped, as she strolled into the kitchen, fresh awake and already washed and dressed Her cardigan was inside out I reached out and tugged at the label so she could see Sed out of it and put it back on the right way around "So I came home and James wasn’t on the couch Did he sleep in your roolanced up to find hi He obviously hadn’t considered that I s "No" I studied Ellie athe news, I realized I almost, maybe, sort of, kind of trusted her "James is Rhian’s boyfriend"

"Rhian, your best friend, Rhian?" she asked, pouring herself solass at the table and I thought being near her as opposed to being near her brother was a good idea I slipped into the chair across from her

"He proposed, she freaked out, she dumped hiabout his note "They’re going to be okay"

"They made up?" God, she looked so hopeful and she didn’t even know them

"You’re a sweetheart," I told her quietly and Ellie’s expression ether, didn’t you?" she announced with the utmost confidence in me

Only Ellie would have that kind of assurance in someone like me She was damnably determined I wasn’t as detached as I ht on this occasion was a little annoying and a lot

"He was pissed off at you," Braden interjected before I could respond

I glanced over at hi his coffee as if he had all the ti up with him"

Braden didn’t seem surprised by this In fact, he quirked an eyebrow and replied, "Why aue at him "Braden, Joss wouldn’t do that"