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The spaceship is weavin all aroun an goin end over end an me, Sue an Major Fritch is tossed aroun like corks Can’t grap holt of nothin, can’t turn off nothin, can’t stan up or set down The voice of groun control coain, say, "We is noticin some kine of minor stabilization trouble with your craft Forrest, will you raot to be jokin! I’ot a wild ape loose in here to boot! Major Fritch is hollerin so loud I cannot hear or even think nothin, but the gist of what she is hollerin seelance out of the winder, an in fact things don’t look good That earth coet to where the starboard computer is, an hold on to the panel with one han an I’ned to land the spaceship in the Indian Ocean in case we get in trouble, which we certainly is now

Major Fritch an ole Sue be holdin on for dear life, but Major Fritch holler out, "What is you doin over there?" When I tole her, she say, "Forgit that, you stupid turd - we is already done passed over the Indian Ocean Wait till we go roun again an see if you can set us down in the South Pacific"

Believe it or not, it don’t take o roun the world when you is in a spaceship, an Major Fritch has grapped holt to the radio roun control that we is headed for either a splash-down or crash-down in the South Pacific Ocean an to coet us as soon as they can I’ ole earth is loomin closer We fly over somethin Major Fritch thinks look like South Aain, with the South Pole off to our left an Australia up ahead

Then everthing get scorchin hot, an funny little souns are comin from the outside of the spaceship an it start shakin an hissin an the earth is dead up ahead Major Fritch shout to me, "Pull the parachute lever!" but I aainst the ceilin of the cabin, an so it look like it’s curtains for us, since we is goin bout ten thousan reen blob of land in the ocean We hit that goin this fast, ain’t even gonna be a grease spot lef

But then all of a sudden soo "pop" an the spaceship slon I look over, an damn if ole Sue ain’t pulled the parachute lever hissef an saved our asses I remind mysef then an there to feed him a banana when all this shit is over

Anyhow, the spaceship be swingin back an forth under the parachute, an it look like we is gonna hit the big ole green blob of land - which apparently ain’t so good neither, since we is sposed only to hit water an then ships will pick us up But ain’t nothin gone right from the time we set foot in this contraption, so why should anybody expect it to now?

Major Fritch is on the radio an sayin to groun control, "We is bout to land on someplace north of Australia out in the ocean, but I ain’t sure where we is"

Couple of seconts later a voice come back say, "If you ain’t sure where you is, why don’t you look out the winder, you dumb broad?"

So Major Fritch put the radio down an go look out the winder an she say, "Jesus - this look like Borneo or soroun control, the radio done gone dead

We be gettin real close to the earth now, an the spaceship still swinging under the parachute There is nothin but jungle an mountains beneath us cept for a little bitty lake that is kind of brown We can barelyon nex to the lake down there The three of us - ot our noses pressed to the winder lookin down, an all of a sudden Major Fritch cry out, "Good God! This ain’t Borneo - this is fuckin New Guinea, an all that shit on the groun o Cults or somethin!"

Sue an roun nex to the lake, lookin back at us, is about a thousan natives, all with they arrass skirts an has their hair all flayed out, an some is carryin shields an spears

"Dao Cult," Major Fritch say "In World War II we used to drop packages of candy an stuff like that on these jungle bunnies to keep eered it was God or so for us to come back Even built crude runways an all - see down there? They has got a landin zone allroun black s look more like cookin pots to me," I says

"Yeah, they do, sort of," Major Fritch say curiously

"Ain’t this where cannibals come from?" I axed

"I reckon ill soon find out," she say

Spaceship is gently swingin towards the lake, an jus afore we hit, they start beatin they drums an movin they mouths up and down We can’t hear nothin on account of bein in the capsule, but our inations doin just fine