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Suddenly it feels likeme, so I couldn’t speak even if I wanted to

"Hello?" Herr Silverman says

It’s definitely his voice

I attempt to throw my cell phone into the river, but it seems to have become a part of my ear

"Hello?" Herr Silver for hi number or a perverted heavy breather

"Is this Leonard?" Herr Silverman says in this softer voice, and he doesn’t sound like he’s pissed that I called It almost sounds like he’s honored Like he could have said, "Did I really win teacher of the year?" in the same voice

Still, I can’t speak

"Are you okay?" When I don’t answer, he says, "Leonard, don’t hang up Stay on the line I want to tell you why I don’t roll upme at this number, I assume that you need to know the answer I’m happy to tell you But the problem is that I need to show you So where are you? Tell me and I’ll come to you But I want to keep you on the line while I take a cab We can chat about anything you want and then when I arrive at wherever you are, I’ll roll up my sleeves and explain the mystery to you I really think you’ll find et there Can you do that? Can you do that for h I want to

Mythis

I wonder why Herr Silver with other students It doesn’t seeht when he probably has a s to do and therefore doesn’t really need this sort of extra above-and-beyond hassle It would be easier for everyone if I just pulled the trigger and ended this now But I can’t for some reason I just can’t

"Okay, Leonard Justto let h I tellHerr Silverets any more complicated, an "Um-hmmm" rises up fro now, really hard

"Are you at ho

"Okay, you’re not at your house So where are you?"

I don’t say anything

"Are you alone?"

I don’t say anything

"Just tell me where you are, Leonard I’ll come to you We can talk I’ll tell you my secret I’ll roll up my sleeves for you"

I don’t knohy I can suddenly speak, but even though I want to hang up and let Herr Silverue and lips betray me

"It’s my birthday today No one remembered"

It sounds so stupid and pathetic and little-kid whiny that I push the P-38’s barrel into er

Make it easier for everyone

There’s a long pause, and I can tell that Herr Silver to decide what to say

"Happy birthday, Leonard Are you eighteen today?"

Hearing so stupid, but it sort of makes me feel better all of a sudden

Just tords

Happy birthday

It one

Like I’m still here

"Leonard?" Herr Silver out across the river at the Philadelphia skyline in the distance The lights of the skyscrapers shimmy across the water and dance with moonbeams

I wonder if it’s anyone else’s birthday in Philadelphia

How those other people are celebrating

If any of theht now

"Leonard, please Just tell me where you are I’ll come to you"

I can’t believe how ht now

I don’t even really understand why

I lower the P-38 and tell him where I am

"Don’t move," Herr Silver up I’ to stay on the phone with you I just have to tellto so said

Another uing--then there’s a rustling noise, and Herr Silver down the stairs incloser to you Okay, now I’otinto the cab" I hear hi now, headed for the bridge"

Herr Silverman narrates his whole trip for me like that and I listen to the sound of his voice and think that his words are the only thing keeping ht now--that his words are literally keeping ht have blown ht be under his shirtsleeves--if knoill be worth sticking around