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"We're alest? You haven't even written the book yet"

"Almost to Simmons' Mills Just over the top of this hill Look"

She slowed the car at the top of the hill, and they looked down There was the town again, unchanged: the ss huddled in the cleared rectangle carved from the vast forest, the blur of paperthe sky

"That's where I was born," said Natalie

"Wow," said Nancy softly "INancy at Mrs Talbot's, perched on a kitchen stool with her feet twisted around its rungs, watching Anna Talbot make brownies for the church fair

"I'll wait here," Nancy had said "I hate hospitals And he won't want to see ards," Mrs Talbot had said, and confided, "I sent him a card last week Of course, the nurses may not have told him who it came from They do that sometiot my card, won't you?"

"Certainly," Natalie had lied, and walked along the quiet, tidy main street of Si She saw the to through Julie's eyes She saw the teen-agers, standing on the corner by the drugstore, laughing in a sroup, who came to an abrupt silence and averted their eyes as she walked past; they had done that, once, to the pretty young girl from another city who came to Simmons' Mills and couldn't find a way to make friends Who wore her socks up; or was it down? Today none of them had socks on at all They wore sneakers, sandals, or were in bare feet It didn't matter If Julie had arrived at Simmons' Mills today, she would still have been out of place; they would have lapsed into silence as she walked past, would have looked the other way And Julie, young, vulnerable, hurt, would not have known to smile, to joke with thehter and circumstances where they could have been friends

"Hey," said Natalie suddenly to the tall, thin, arrogant-lipped boy balancing hiarish store "That's a cool bike"

He looked over at her and grinned shyly The hostile arrogance fell away froraduation Man, can it go"

The boys grouped nearby laughed "Varrroooo the sound of the bike "You should see him He's a speed freak, o too fast"

Natalie laughed "No thanks," she said "I have to go soh"

She walked on, and they waved casually to her

Daht Natalie Why didn't you try, Julie? They didn't really care how you wore your socks, or your hair If you had just smiled Joked with them Tried to find out what kind of people they were

And if you had? Natalie smiled Where would I be? Nowhere She walked on

Doctor Therrian looked, thought Natalie suddenly as she stood beside his bed, like a rag doll left behind in the yard of a suone: discolored by rain, faded by sun, drained by the passage of tiotten She felt like the child who had es didn't matter, because it was still there; that was the i him by the name Julie had; but he didn't ray, wasted face But he breathed Quietly; evenly She sat down beside his bed and took his hand

"Doc It's Natalie Do you rehter I'm the one as born here, to Julie Jeffries, and to Terry"

Quietly his breaths caently, feeling the bones and veins through the loose gray shroud of skin

"I caht I was Julie I look like her I have blue eyes the way Julie does

"You helped me find her She lives in New York, now, and is happy She has two beautiful little boys

"And she toldand so scared She could never have gotten through that summer without you, Doc You must have known that You used to come to see her You pretended they were medical visits; but it was just to talk, wasn't it, Doc? You kne frightened she was"

He didn't move The lines in his face were like the furrows she had seen in the fields at the beginning of sulacial rocks of the mountains she had seen from the road to Sirandchild, wasn't it, Doc? Julie told me that you cried, too, when the lawyer took ht thing Maybe you've wondered about that all these years But I've had a happy life, Doc I have a fa to college I' to be a doctor, like you, and like randfather At least I thought I didn't When Julie told randfather--well, it's why I ca didn't change

"I want to tell you so else, Doc," she said finally "That I'm sorry about your son You h hehiile hand against her cheek "I'oodbye"

She kissed his hand, put it down, and left him there, hatever he had heard, whatever he re

36

KAY ARMSTRONG was ironing in front of the television, watching an afternoon quiz program as she attacked a heavy linen tablecloth with the iron

"Moeois so the fuzzy exterior of a peach carefully with her teeth "Classy people never watch quiz programs"

"Classy people eat peaches with s to stay in this roora as she bit into the peach

"Shhhh I've won a sewing et what"