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"Oh, I wish he were"

"Well, if he were, her physical condition would be the sas all by herself There's just so ently in his hand, watching the cream blend slowly into the coffee

"Natalie, do you reht in here, the one that had died during its nap?"

Natalie nodded "I'll never forget it"

"When I was a student, and then when I was just beginning in practice," her father said slowly, "the death of a child was the one thing I couldn't get used to It seemed so cruel, so unnecessary, such a waste For a while I thought I would become a pediatrician, just so that I could do s"

"But you didn't Why not?"

He looked at her and chuckled "To be perfectly honest, I found that I hated dealing with chicken pox and diaper rash

"But--" He sipped his coffee "More than that I began to be aware that when so person, a child, it is alated by the fact that there is a farieve That doesn't , but it ic thing for those parents--who, incidentally, Nat, had another baby this past spring--but still, that infant, when he died, was in a warh it as filled with love Do 1 sound senti frowned "But it's the old people, the ones who have no one, who touch me now I do what I can for them medically, and sometimes it isn't much But more than that, I listen to them, care about them I even sent Florence Pitthty-seven" He looked a little sheepish

"Dad, I love you soit"

"Dad You know that I've spent the whole sus out?"

He nodded

"You haven't ever asked what I've found"

"Natalie, your mother and I knew that if you wanted to tell us, you would It's not a decision we can make for you If you don't ever want to tell us, we'll understand We'll accept that"

"I'm not sure I want to tell you all of it But there's this one thing I found a man, an old man He was very sick when I saw him last month, and I'm not even sure if he's still alive He has cancer And he was just like you were saying, all alone He had no fa, with a few plants and flowers friends had sent And the green hospital walls"

Her father looked at his empty cup "I know," he said "I ain"

"But, Dad," said Natalie slowly "I didn't know it then, but now I've found out that he's o back Just one more trip, to see hione, that I'll go back only to put flowers on a grave But I have to do at least that"

"Natalie, if you'd like me to, I'll find out for you If you call the hospital, they'll only give you the official information: his condition is poor, or satisfactory But if I call, as a doctor, I can find out what's really going on Do you want to tell me his name and the name of the hospital?"

She wrote it for him Clarence Therrian, Simmons' Mills Community Hospital, and he looked at the piece of paper and smiled

"I remember Simmons' Mills," he said "We drove there, your , wrapped in a yellow blanket, sound asleep"

"Dr Ar," said his nurse crisply fro in every exarinned at each other

"Thank you, Dad," she said

At the end of the long, busy day, Natalie was tidying up the waiting roo notes in a patient's folder, closed it, and said, "Natalie, tell your mother that I'll be late for dinner I have to check on a patient in the hospital before I co you the next two days off, Nat I made that phone call Clarence Therrian is still alive But I think you'd better go tomorrow Don't wait for the weekend"

She was saddened She kneas dying, had even expected that he ht be dead But suddenly she was more saddened by it than she had been before

"Does he know, Natalie? That you're his granddaughter?"

"Yes"

He turned to leave, stopped, came back, and put his ar down on one of the waiting roo of the summer, when you set off to make this search, I was disturbed by it Hurt So was your , I think I can't speak for Mom, but I suspect you'll find she's coht thing for you to do"

"Dad," said Natalie, puzzled, "I'm not even sure of that myself"

He was silent "It's a fine line," he said finally, "and I've been thinking about it a lot--the line between the past and the present And it's a line we have to feel our way along, so that we knohat the connection is For you, the connections were twisted and blurred It was the right thing, to sort theame we used to play at our birthday parties, ere little? We called it Spiderweb"

He nodded and laughed, re threads all around the house, over furniture, behind and under things, and at the end of each thread there was a prize for each child"