Page 26 (1/2)

A Ti speeches and &039;&039; ishes finally passed, the first rows of students stood to e They were antsy as they waited in a line while the principal addressed the of applause carabbed their coiled piece of symbolic paper

Occasionally one student&039;s nareater applause than another That was usually due to a sh no one tried anything as dra the crowd, like Darren would have) Sometimes it was because that student was perceived as popular, like the thunderous noises Brittany received But I knew better than anyone that popularity didn&039;t have anything to do orthiness, and I was content with the fact that I&039;d probably only receive a near silent, polite for

Finally, my row stood to a burst of applause (that I think had more to do with the fact that ere the last row, than the student&039;s na area Sawyer looked back at avesmile I smiled back, happy that after all was said and done, I&039;d still have her That war to stay with me for several years to cohtsort of way for her Her applause had been decently loud anyway (she had done aherself this year than I had), but I liked doing my part to help her feel wanted It was the least I could do

She giggled as she took her diploma and shook the principal&039;s hand Her cheeks were flushed froht eeous to ym She kept eyes with me as she walked back to her seat, a wry sht shake to her head She ell aware that I&039;d created the ruckus I chuckled as I watched her sit down

By then, I was next in line, and the last to go up A silence hit the room the second before my name was called I felt the heat of every set of eyes on h this Soht poorly of edy when they looked at me, but I didn&039;t need to let my sorrowful past define me As Sawyer had told me once, we can choose ant to be

"Lucas Michael West," the principal flatly intoned

The applause started off just as light as I&039;d iined it would, but by the tinificantly louder Not anywhere near the level that Brittany&039;s saunter across the stage had inspired, but elevated nonetheless A smile crept up to the corner of my lip as I let the acceptance I&039;d been so sure I&039;d never get wash over me I let my own acceptance wash over me as well What was that Beth had told iveness froive yourself? My siveness It felt better than I&039;d felt in awhile

I fir ht lipped smile and a brief nod of her head Her handshake was crisp, brief and to the point - you&039;ve graduated, great, next please After we&039;d separated, she started turning back to thethat I&039;d continue down the stage and make my way to my seat without her direction I didn&039;t intend to do that yet though

Fighting a sudden nervous knot in my stomach, I stepped in front of her, directly in front of thestartled at my bold maneuver, she only stopped and stared atme back I took her moment of hesitation to look out at the crowd of shocked faces

Quiet instantly fell on the gy I cleared the frog out of ht of while sitting and waiting fora bit red as I realized that even if they hadn&039;t already known that, which I was sure most of them did, the principal had just announced it over the microphone "But, you all already know that" My eyes drifted over the crowd, spottingproud, but confused "I know you all want to get on with your eveningbut I can&039;t let this night go by without acknowledgingthe three people who should be standing up here with ylanced at the principal, she looked torn fro me finish, since I obviously had the attention of everyone out there I tried to ignore that fact as I continued on hat I had to do My eyes went back to the asseaze, pulling strength fro eyes

"Darren McCordSamantha CarterandLillian Tate" My voice cracked on Lil&039;s na on the people I knew and the people I didn&039;t know "They died one year ago tonight and deserve sonition I ask that we all take a moment of silence, for the three lives that were lost They one" my eyes shifted to rest on Josh&039;s, his face white, his cheeks wet, "but they are not forgotten"

I loweredthe same A thick silence perht I tried to focuswith Sa Lillian Up until the end, it had been an aht ht on earth, was a good one

When azed out over the crowd again Some heads were still down in reflection, so atI hadn&039;t brought this up here, ossip that swirled around the town When I felt the principal take a step towards me, I continued before she could stop ht, have been going around this town, and I know I haven&039;t done much to dissuade those ruard h the ain "Maybe my silence even helped toeyes with Sawyer, I sed and continued, "I hope you can all understand thatthat I&039;ve been going through so like I did when I was alone withthe need to release this burden fro about the accident" I shookones "I&039;ve always re noise start around the gym as people absorbed that, and my eyes went back to the crowd A lot of the students weren&039;t surprised by this, I had been speaking to them more often of late, but soenuinely surprised, and a few see I didn&039;t have to do this Wishinga spectacle ofand this was ht "Darren, Lil and SaDarren was very drunk I&039;d been drinking soda, so I took the keys from hiyth from that I&039;d been sort of worried that some disbeliever would have stood up and started verbally abusing

"The wreck wasn&039;t caused because I&039;d beenmessed up" I closed my eyes "It was that freak rainstorm We hit it on the way ho on the road" I paused, feeling the slice of pain that always hit me at this point I reopened my eyes and searched the audience until I connected withfrom her and in a much quieter voice, continued "Itoo fast and all I wanted was to stopso I slammed on the brakes I coht at that sharp corner I couldn&039;t do anything to stop us and we hit the rail hardand went over" I keptdown her cheeks as she started to lightly cry My voice cracked when it started again "I made a mistakeand they all died because of it"

I looked back over the crowd and saw several faces with unshed tears and several more et cheeks I was a little startled to realize that mine et as well "They were my best friends and I miss them every day, and I know several of you feel the same way" I let my eyes drift back down to the seniors beforewith us today"

I sed noisily "I would give anything to be able to go back to that night a year ago, knohat I know today, and change everything that happened I&039;d leave earlier, or drive slower, or ain, wishing did nothing "NoI&039;d convince theo in the first place I&039;d convince theo back and change anything, but, I&039;d give anything to have my friendsour friends back"

I sniffed and searched the thoughtful eyes of the students in front of me, most of theain Hers were as wet as ht of joining theht everyone&039;s life would be better if I&039;d never survived, if I was dead as well And I wanted to die I tried todie with theistered the pale whiteness as her hhen I&039;d been set on taking my own life

I sed and spoke directly at her "I wanted to make everyone&039;s life easier I wanted my torture to end" I cocked my head as I watched her start to sob quietly in the stands Neil put a co hand across her shoulders and pulled her to his side Sawyer&039;s parents, their faces as wet and distraught as my mom&039;s, patted her back in sy at me wide-eyed with his one fro to make it happen With a se the past and I have to live hat I&039;ve done And I will"

Peeling my eyes away from Josh&039;s stricken face andbreath and swept the rooain "If some of you still choose to believe the lies, and still choose to hate ainst you" I setyou in hating me anymore I made a mistake, a mistake that anyone could have htly shook my head "I&039;ve takenforward Now, I&039;ll do what Darren, Sammy and Lillian would have wantedto Sawyer&039;s bea face "Now, I&039;ll live"

I stepped away from the podium and blinked a few ti like you&039;d expect after a speech like that, just a few sniffles and a few htful faces I wasn&039;t sure if s about me - those who still believed the worst, after all this time, would probably always believe the worst, but I&039;d needed to do it and as I stepped down to rejoin hand then the entire gym erupted in celebration I joined in I&039;d done it I&039;d h the year in an to disperse, I found Sawyer and lifted her about a foot in the air She squealed and huggedhow proud of rabbed her face, giving her a long, slow kiss that didn&039;t end until so our backs to congratulate us

Manywords for ht would Ms Reynolds ca me my speech was beautiful Mrs Solheih when she calledSawyers&039; voice, she&039;d turned to acknowledge her and blinked, shaking her head, like she was looking at so that couldn&039;t be real Sawyer looked at her oddly, but I understood hty teacher&039;s reaction Mrs Solheiht in front of her face I&039;d drawn and painted and sculpted various versions of Sawyer all year, and even though Mrs Solhei of the school year, when Sawyer had been collecting honments for me, I don&039;t think she&039;d realized that my subject was an actual person until this very second

As I watchedthe seniors, a hand clappedbehindthat couldn&039;t be real Coach had actual tears in his eyes With pride clear on his face, he clappedThat startled o, he crossed his ar htly shook his head and gruffly said, "Stupid principal should have done it" I lightly sain, his eyes getting even enuinely heartfelt voice, "You&039;re a goodyou"

My eyes rabbed his hand and shook it "You too, Coach" I heard Sawyer beside me sniffle and I put my arm around her waist as Coach and I released each other She laid her head onCoach in front of me For once, we felt more like equals than a teacher and a student I suppose that was a natural feeling to have after graduating though He clasped

"Coach?" I said as he twisted He looked back at ain saw the resemblance to me that Darren used to tease me constantly about One day I&039;d have to ask Mo? "Thank you, for your help with college"

He smirked and shook his head "That was all you, Lucas" Abruptly his face got that stern "coach" look that he could do so well "But don&039;t make me look bad in front of my sister&039;s husband"

I smiled and shook my head as he walked off

Several students caratulations and appreciations for ly toldto do Of course, then he tried to make me fall as Sawyer and I headed for the bleachers to rejoin our parents It wasn&039;t as if Will had instantly grown up since being handed an honorific piece of paper

Shaking my head at his weak attempt, I clasped Sawyer&039;s hand and we headed over to where her parents were ani with my mom and Neil Sawyer&039;s lanced at ht that she&039;d finally seen ht, and she approved I couldn&039;t help but sht

Just as we took the first step to climb up to them, Josh stepped down to stand in front of me His face was tired and currently blank, but his dark eyes looked like they&039;d been wrung out a couple ti her I&039;d be there in a o

Josh&039;s eyes watched her leave before slowly turning back tofor him to speak to me After another couple seconds of silence, he finally did "That was really nicewhat you did for Darren, for all of the and didn&039;t knohat to say in return I felt nitionespecially today" My voice was soft and a touch hoarse

Josh&039;s eyes watered as well and he clappedto walk past me on the stairs I turned to watch hi hiym floor, he turned to look back at me His eyes studied mine for a moment before he nodded and quietly said, "I believe you, Lucas Good luck next year"

Those damn tears in my eyes trailed down my cheeks as I nodded and told him my earlier silent ishes out loud He nodded back to me, and then turned and disappeared into the sea of robed students and their parents s froly, her dad as well, I was engulfed by my mother, who sobbed and told me repeatedly that she loved me and was very proud of me I tried to pull away froht wo as she needed to I&039;d done so to her when I&039;d tried to stopI wouldn&039;t deny her that

When she was finallyand a handshake, and took her hand, leading her fro toI closed oodbye to Sawyer&039;s parents, who had a ith Sally before leaving the gy home alone By the look on their faces as they waved at the door, Sally had convinced theave her a sly smile as I realized why she hadn&039;t broken the news to her friend yet She gaveat me too "Sally is an awful liar Now that she&039;s convincedto be at her house all night, I&039; o tell her what&039;s really up"

I smiled as she pulled away, but then frowned "Do your parents still not trust you?"

She laughed and stepped back intoaround my neck as she leaned up for a kiss "They trust me fine But you? They&039;re pretty sure you would use any opportunity to get into hed with her

My hands ran around her waist, i into your pants that&039;s interesting h her robe and she giggled Leaning in close I added, "You are going to keep that dress on for awhile longerright?"

She laughed again, givingus "Oh yes, Luc I wasn&039;t about to change so that o talk to Sally, and I furrowed yhed, but didn&039;t answer irl walk over to her friend to break the news

Sorry Sally, tonighthand in hand with Sawyer to the parking lot, I started gearing myself up for the drive back hoive roups of people that alked past, a little a of the year I&039;d h As hard as it had been, it was over now I clenched Sawyer&039;s hand as we reached the first parked cars

"Lucas?"

A voice calling toand turned to look behind us I sreet us Her red curls bounced around her shoulders as the wide smile on her face matched mine "Good, you&039;re still here"

"Hi, Beth," I said, releasing Sawyer&039;s hand so I could give her a war down to my arms as we pulled apart Pride showed in her pale eyes as she looked over " I blushed and looked down It wasn&039;t that incredible She laughed and I looked back up at her "No, I&039; where you started this year, that," she indicated behind her with her head, "was a serious onup onain and shook her head "I&039;d never have done either of those things, Lucas" She pattedback to ain and gave her another swift hug In et you there, Luc"

I bit rabbed Sawyer&039;s hand and turned with her to leave As we did, Beth knowingly said, "Have a good night you two" Sawyer giggled and I turned rin I could still hear her light laughter e reached Sawyer&039;s car

It felt like justalone inthousands of ht wrapped around us We stood by the side of azed at each other My heart warher a soft kiss, filling it with every ounce of love that I felt for her

"I love you," I whispered between our kiss, feeling the need to verbalize what I felt for her too

She sighed with a sound that matched mine, her lips equally as soft and filled with love Her hands ca in ht her body closer to ainstthrough her silky dress and a moan escaped me

"I love you too," she whispered

My hands ca more intently now As my hands circled her backside, she ainst mine I was hard, ready for her and I heard an, "Oh, Lucas," fall froue stole all speech fro body to her neck, threading through so the zipper of that fabulous dress I groaned as I pulled the zipper down, anxious to see as underneath and sorry to see that thin, clingyharder through ray looking dress down her shoulders, I exposed her creaasped when her shoulders were free I gasped when her breasts were free Following that silky fabric down the contours of her body, I shoved it to a point just past her hips, and then dropped it It fell to her feet in a loose pile and I took a second to admire the scantily clad beauty beforewhite They had to be, for they seeht of theher curves, her breasts nearly spilling out of the partial cups My head bent to autoers wrapped around to unveil the short work of the buttons on my shirt as I unclasped her bra

She pulledout of her shoes and the pile of her dress I kicked off my shoes as I followed her,over her exposed nipples She pulled off s hit the bed She started in on my slacks when I moved over to the other breast

I was barely conscious offocused on feeling her body It wasn&039;t until her hand wrapped around roaned and found my way back to her ers and palms explored the other

Our breaths nearly as frantic as ouronly momentarily to slip off ry eyes until I joined her again I laid on top of her, pressing ainst her underwear I could feel how ready she was for ainst me and a loear passed froue down her body, wanting to knohat every part of her tasted like Every section was different: the trace a her neck, the barest hint of sweat between her breasts, the faint aers looped around her underwear, and tugged thehs, the only thought in my head was - I needed to taste her everywhere

I threw thehs, pushing the the inside I heard her breath hitch in anticipation It made me throb I stared at the spot I wanted to be insideShe was drenched for me and her hips squirmed in my hands I knew she wanted me to be inside her too And I would bein a ue down to taste that moisture, her hands pushed back on my shoulders My breath was heavy and my eyes felt hooded as I snapped them up to hers; hers were heavy with desire too as she looked down on me, but I could also see a hint of uncertainty

Sawyer and I were completely comfortable with each other, but this? For her, this was probablywe&039;d already done For me too, I suppose If our positions were reversed, I&039;d probably be feeling a little self-conscious about ardless of how comfortable I ith her Even boundless love didn&039;t always overcome insecurity I understood that Truth be told, I was a little nervous about this too, as I&039;d never done it either, but I wanted us to experience everything together, even if it kind of scared us

She apparently felt the sa down at me for just a moment, she bit her lip, and then reached over to cup , the only adornht to her center and relaxed her legs, opening herself tome as she always did I didn&039;t hesitate I droppedthe core of her I heard the groan I made, but I was instantly drowned out by the loud cry from her Her hips bucked underneath me and I steadied her, not nearly done yet I stroked and sucked and enjoyed every drop of her desire for h ue The tastewas indescribable

"Lucasthat feels so" She started panting and ht ofher come this way Just when I started to wonder if I could, her need-filled voice rang in od, LucasI&039;mI&039;m"

She didn&039;t even have tiers inside of her and she&039;d instantly coasm I was so in tune with her body, it was alhbody assuredShe reached down for ether at her taste between us Needing her so bad I could barely take it anymore, I slid into her and cried out in her ether

We stayed connected, without an pulling apart and coether We both exhaled in relief as I filled her and she enveloped me It was the most intensely profound connection I&039;d ever had, e Our movements stayed slow and unhurried as we experienced the other in the silvery near-dark of my bedroom I whispered in her ear how much I loved her and she ether in co like we&039;d done this for years instead of months Eventually our joint need drove us to move faster and faster, until I felt all of , asand heard her beg for me to come in her I didn&039;t need to be told twice With a fewher naht and I surprisingly heard her cry out again, coain

We slowed our movements and I carefully started to re me "Noplease, stay, just for a little bit"