Page 10 (1/2)

First Day, Round Two

I woke up screa to stop ain My heart raced as I screamed over and over, not able to fully disassociate frohtmare Warm arms scooped me up and a soft voice hushed in my ear repeatedly Eventually my mother&039;s calo,about driving Even with Darren&039;s helpI hated drea

Mom crawled into bed withI eht, reluctant to let her leave, scared the nightmare would find a way to return and haunt me, even awake She softly kissed ht and she&039;d be back as soon as she could

I stayed awake, staring at the cracks ofmy mind to stay blank It didn&039;t Flashes of rain and road and blood streakedswirled inat the ceiling when Sawyer appeared inI&039;d been lying in bed, swirling in dark thoughts She started to explain that she&039;d been knocking for forever, when she noticed the look on

"Luc? What is it?" She ca soI&039; down my cheek Her thumb brushed it off and she i both arms around my neck

"It&039;s okay, Lucas It&039;s okay" Her soft voice cooed in th I had left in ht around her body and I sobbed Heart wrenching sobs that I couldn&039;t hold back any it, but I couldn&039;t stop the overwhelrief any

Sawyer never co embrace She slipped a hand intopatterns Eventually, her voice and her cal touch soothed me to silence Either that or I&039;d exhausted every tear in ed breaths, and a quick swipe of my nose on my sleeve, I pulled back to look at her She smiled wartails that I&039;d seen on her that very first day of school I lay back ondown at me I sniffled a couple tiers brush overme to look at her With sheepish eyes, I did

"I have soenuinely and relaxed back into the pillows, grateful that she wasn&039;t going to ask aboutto htly and ran a hand acrossto wipe away the re a little bored"

She gaveover et ht back, Lucas"

I sed and nodded while she slipped out ofan arm over my eyes and tried to not be too eh Just as I was thinking that I should go out to her, I felt her return toI peered out from under my arm when I felt her lift the covers and crawl back into bed with me She&039;d takenon the floor, and was playing with the too-long sleeves of her shirt, as she balanced a book on her knees under ainst the wall, sh to listen to ed over our math hoiven us Before I knew it, Saas glancing at a clock on the wall and cursing,that she was late

She slipped out of ether I scooted around to the edge and sat up, puttingand hurriedly putover to give nment I wasn&039;t sure if her protective parents would even let her visit after this, and her being in ht now may be the last time that ever happened

I reached out for her hand once she had everything all ready to go I found it swinging freely at her side and laced our fingers together She looked down at where we joined and s softly, looked up at aze and hoped that she understood that by &039;everything&039; I truly didme my homework daily She may not understand, but she&039;d helped me practically survive my isolation I don&039;t think I could have done it without her

Her eyes watered as she held aze "You&039;re welcohtly "Well, I guess I&039;ll see you Monday then I&039;ll kind ofover" She cocked her head to the side as her thoughts ran in line with htly "Maybe my parents will be okay with short visits" She let the sentence trail off and bit her lip

I set my hopes up "I hope soI&039;d really like that" She nodded and I stood up, encircling her in a waresture I resisted the urge to kiss her head and whisper just how e to tell her how sorry I was that I was so ive her what I suspected she wanted frohter, to never let her go Instead of all that, I held her for another couple seconds, and then I let go and took a step back "See ya Monday, Sawyer"

She nodded and adjusted her bag on her shoulder before turning to exit my room I stopped her at the door "Sawyer?" She turned and looked back at rin Sighing, she reluctantly raised her head to look at h or drunkor so that she saw you take some pills outside of Art class" She shook her head while I frowned at the predictable gossipstories about how you getto have sex with her" A faint blush filled her cheeks as anger went through her "She always looks aton " Her face hite after she said that "Not that we&039;re a couple It&039;s justthey all believe that we"

I shookto explain herself "I knoyer I understand" The school had unfortunately linked Sawyer to me from practically day one, even withunwanted attention to her I frowned as I considered Brittany&039;s flat-out lies Interesting that she&039;d paint ht for the school Well, I always had suspected that she was more interested in me than she let on This was a way for her to live out a fantasy with me and make me look even worse, all at the same tioing to call her out on the lie No one would believeno humor was in hed as she nodded and looked down I re ridiculeda hand on her ars worse for you? Would it be better for you, if eren&039;t friends?" I whispered that last part, hoping she wasn&039;t going to say "yes" and take the opportunity to walk away from me

Her head snapped up and her wide eyes looked over my face, surprised "No, no, Lucasdon&039;t ever think that" Her hand sneaked up to rest on my chest and she took a step closer to me "You make my life better, Lucas If you only kneto water again I scrunched my brow, confused, and started to ask a question, but she interrupted me "Don&039;t worry about what they say to me I don&039;t care None of that ossip, I don&039;t care" She brought her other hand up to rest it oninto me as she leaned closer "This is what matters to me" She sed and searched my face "Youyou are what h ht me true peace, found peace in me as well I didn&039;t understand how that was possible, how I could in any way bring her joy, but sohtI didn&039;t even kno to cohting my face "You don&039;t knohat that means to me, Sawyer You couldn&039;t possibly understand how istered with my head In all the time I&039;d had with Lillian, I&039;d never actually said those words to her And here, now, I&039;d knoyer for only a few months and the words had slipped out effortlessly I watched her face pale and her uely remembered that this wasn&039;t the first ti-tainted conversation floated around my head, but embarrassment at my behavior then, andwhat else to do, and not really understanding what Iher I loved her, I quickly added, "As a friend, my best friend"

Her e e over her face before her peaceful smile returned "I love you too, Lucasas my best friend"

I sottensituation I pulled her in for a tight hug before pulling back and playfully pushing her away "You&039;d better go You&039;re already late and you&039;ll never convince the you hoht Have a good weekend, Lucas"

Mentally I frowned at the prospect ofdays without her, but to her, I only nodded "You too, Sawyer"

Monday ht drizzle in the crisp Noveot ready for school with a knot in one for awhile now and while ht of roa all the hot stares and hushed voices as I walked past I&039;d gotten pretty good at tuning that out before the incident, but now it sort of felt like I was starting the year over Well, at least I had Saithready, I s-sleeve shirt and studied myself in the h , but even toatout of the pale lips before me, just a bit too fast I splashed so, deep breaths

I didn&039;t need another bout of panic attacks After my first horrid day of school, those had actually subsided and I didn&039;t need theain Of course, I also attributed that to Sawyer and her cal presence I opened my eyes and forced a smile to my stressed face I&039;d see her soon and most, if not all, of my anxiety would slip aith her perky smile

I shuffled out to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee forup an extra shift at the diner and I&039;d woken up before her Ilike we&039;d both need the boost today Just as I was sitting down at the s and stretching slightly

She s whatever se It didn&039;t really matter to me, so I returned her warm smile She frohen she saw it and I realized I was still using enuine one

"Do you want me to call the school, Lucas? One " She ran a hand downover my features as she worried about id s either I need to get this over with"

She nodded and stared atand sitting at her spot at the table, the saht about that conversation as Moe "Did you have a good visit with Sheriff Whitney last week?" she asked quietly

I looked up at her face, a little startled that our thoughts were running so parallel with each other "U telling such personal things about our life to such a high profile person, but I couldn&039;t get the words out to question her She gave up enough for me already, if she needed someone to talk towell, I&039;d prefer it wasn&039;t him, but that wasn&039;t really up to me

She nodded and a srily "Sorryit&039;s a little strong, isn&039;t it?"

She chuckled and looked up atand her voice softened "But, I suppose you needed the extra help today" Her eyesatto be for you"

I nodded and darted my eyes down toee ht now, all I needed to do was focus onmy inner peace The rest would surely work out just fine

I was practically inhaling the bottonaled Sawyer&039;s arrival A true grin spread onout her appearance in the rear view oodbye and she atching me with a small, crooked smile

"What?" I asked cautiously

She shook her head "Oh, nothing" Her eyes flicked to theand then back to lad that there is soain" Her eyes got ain hat could easily beco to delve into Sawyer&039;s and my relationship It was too complicated forto analyze it too "I better go, she&039;s waiting"

She stood and gave"Of course, dear" She pulled back to look atrin before pickingand jacket off the floor near the front door "I&039;ll try," I said softly, as I slipped the to her, I opened the door and waved to Saith a surely idiotic grin onti

Saaved back at et inside The all too familiar lemon scent washed over rance eased my breath and my squeezed heart I exhaled slowly and sank back into the seat as she pulled out offigure at our front door, I turned my head to face Sawyer

"Hey," I said pleasantly, practically with a spring in rinned, her face beaht, dark hair "Hey, yourself You&039;re in a much better mood than I expected to find you in" She raised an eyebrow at that and then turned her attention back to the road

I laughed and turnedbefore us "Not really, I&039;lad to see you"

I felt her turn to look at lad to see you too I&039;ve missed this"

My eyes softened as I looked at her while she turned back to the road, the early loss and a strand of dark hair straying close to her eye, begging to be tucked behind her ear She really was quite beautiful "Really?" I whispered, without

She turned back at me, and her eyes softened as well as they looked overwelled up in me before she suddenly broke the contact, and firmly fixed her eyes to the road ahead of us "Well, yeah" She shrugged nonchalantly "I didn&039;t have anyone to corin before reaching down and turning up the voluroaned dra was leavingWe both chuckled as we listened to her man-hater music for the last few h

She shut the car off, themid &039;I&039; dread close in on me My chest squeezed as I looked out over the assortment of cars already on the lot I noticed more than a few - Will&039;s, Randy&039;s, Brittany&039;s, and the battered pickup that Josh had been driving this year Looking at the cars was like looking at a lineup of the people ould love to see me be run over by the andharder and harder to keep it even

A war my head I looked over to Sawyer&039;s calm face "I&039;ly and cupped my cheek with her hand

I sed and held eye contact with her, feeling that serenity wash over one I could do this My breath evened and the ache inexhale, I nodded my readiness to her and opened the door

Wedoors with barelyto feel cal would be fine, well, nornored, which was fine I opened the heavy door and gallantly ushered Sawyer inside, her breath a visible puff as she laughed at ether, alked through the doors like any pair of norh school students

But I wasn&039;t normal I wasn&039;t really wanted around here And as the heavy door slammed shut ominously behind me, I was reoodyou&039;re back Enjoy your tiainst the row of lockers directly in front of the main doors and sneered at er swelled in ht back to what this little punk did to o - the embarrassment, the banishment, but mainly, the forced separation froive hily came out of my chest and the words, &039;you son of a bitch!&039; rested on the tip of et a chance to say it, as rabbed and pulled harshly away from my body, and I had little choice but to follow it I started to pull away fro a friend of his across the chest and h and point after Sawyer and me

"Don&039;t, Lucas He&039;s not worth it"

I turned my face and found ed et his ass kicked!" For ahis brother back against the lockers Darren could be fiery when he got going and, while he&039;d never taken a swing at his brother, I kneould have if the situation called for it And this situation definitely called for it

Sawyer continually tugged eared up for "True, he does," shee finally reached the stairs, she gently put a hand on my cheek "But not in the middle of the hallway, around all these people Not when you have one strike against you already You don&039;t need the trouble, Luc"

I sniffed and , hitsoer had coursed through h my veins and darken rowled Josh had gone too far this ti expelled would be worth it

Sawyer&039;s eyes widened, but she was interrupted by a voice behind her before she could say anything to that "Is there a problem here?"

I looked over Sawyer&039;s shoulder to Coach Taylor standing behind her I instantly straightenedtime "No, Coach," I automatically replied The heat left e

Coach had always been tough, but fair, on Darren and rown to respect hione dad, since he really did look like an older version of me - a crew cut in the same brown as my scruffy head, the same hazel eyes, if a little more intense on him, the sahed it off when Darren got into hysterics about it though I ical, but I knew the coach was not him For one, I&039;ve seen pictures ofalike Secondly, I really didn&039;t like to think about Coach getting it on with h

Coach sniffed and cocked his head as he looked at me and then down the hallway to where Josh and his friends were still laughing "Let&039;s talk, West" He crossed his arms over his blue and white polo, the school&039;s colors, and narrowed his eyes at

"I have to get to class" I shrugged lamely and nodded my head in the direction of the stairs Sawyer besidelike she wasn&039;t sure if she should stay by ain and twisted his lips, the look on his hard face displeased that I had decided to question him anyway "That wasn&039;t a request"

I looked down and nodded before giving Sawyer a &039;sorry&039; face, and telling her I&039;d lanced over the inti up the stairs I watched her leave for a second, turning the corner and being followed by what seehed softly and twisted to face the coach