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"You still believe that everything good will be followed by bad?"

"I haven’t for a long tie deal I had a relapse"

"Joss, you’re allowed to feel this way You recognized it and you’re working through it That’s all anyone can ask"

We were quiet athe bands onto admit it out loud

"Braden?"

I nodded

"He’s not perfect, Joss You’ve always known that he was a family man It must be hard for him to wonder if he’sher own child, his child"

"But he won’t letsmile "Maybe he’s afraid to hear what you have to say So make him listen"

"I wouldbut"

"Joss--"

"When he’s gone I blame myself," I admitted "The way I reactedI can see why he would feel this way, act this way But when he’s right in front ofme to touch him, unable to bear my touch, I almost hate him I feel so alone" The tears spilled down ain"

Dr Pritchard leaned over and pressed tissues intosqueeze as she did so "You have to try to get past that feeling long enough to talk to him This is a case of total miscommunication, and you two have come too far to let that derail you"

I nodded as I wiped the tears

"And Joss"

"Yeah?"

She sratulations"

She was the first person to say it to h I understood it was my own fault that no one else had, it was still nice to hear it "Thank you"

I shutdown the laptop after having just bought up every self-help book A a first-time mom After my session with Dr Pritchard I’d coone into this hyper nored re the sauest room to oing to be our kid’s nursery I was thinking yellow or green for a color scheender neutral

I’d then opened upme she’d sent off my manuscript to the publisher, and she would likeup concepts for a new book For a while I typed up notes for several ideas I’d come back to, to flesh out later

And then I’d started freaking out that I knew nothing about being aspree

Nerves frayed, I stood in front of the mirror in our bedroom and lifted my T-shirt

No bu hoeird it was that there was a little person inside of me whom I already loved beyond reason

Now if only lanced at the space between theand the bed and wondered if there was room to put the baby’s crib there for a while I wanted him or her to be close to us I already knew I’d find it difficult to sleep if I didn’t know our kid was safe and at arm’s reach

After a fewtape, I wandered back into the guest room to see if I’d left it in there I found it on the bedside cabinet, but as I moved away, the address on a letter half-hidden under a book drewobnoxiously loud, I slipped the letter out from under the novel and fear prickled ers went nurasp to the floor

It was a letter to Braden’s tenants, asking them to vacate the premise in one month’s time It was his bachelor penthouse on the Meadows The one he’d put up for rental when he moved in with me

The one he could take back froe