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My doorbell rang

A welco cold in my veins

"Liv?" I said, after I opened my front door, surprised to see her on ood friends, but for some reason she wasn’t the first person I expected to see Jo and I were closer Liv and I only knew each other because of Jo, but we’d quickly banded together as fellow Americans and book enthusiasts

Liv’s eyes washed over me in concern and I instantly tensed I knehat she was seeing Dark circles under ; a pale, icky complexion; and hair that was all over the place

"Is Braden here?" she asked casually as she barged right pastI welco else but Braden and nancy

"No, he’s at work," I replied as I followed her into the kitchen

When I got there she was alreadycoffee She frowned at me "You need to take better care of yourself"

"I’ve been busy," I hopped onto a different subject quickly "A literary agent in New York now represents me"

Liv smiled in excitement "She loved your book?"

"She lovedout of everyone Liv would be the one to really get how cool it was Liv was a librarian Books were her passion

When her eyes dipped totheir depths, I cut off her obvious next question

"She thinks I should start working on another"

Toto me ya rooet the letter I’d just found

I was in midsentence about this crazy dystopian idea I had that was coent had in mind when she asked me to think up new concepts, when the front door opened

Braden

I feltwith this horrible sick feeling in my stomach, for Braden to appear in the doorway and crushjust as tired as I felt, and stopped in the doorway "Liv," he greeted her before glancing at ht ofhed "You need to get soht

"Joss?" Liv’s whispered anxiety brought my attention back to her She looked so worried for ? What a? "Don’t" She didn’t know shit

We sat in taut silence, sipping on coffee

"I’ve got a latewith Adam," we heard Braden say as he wandered down the hall Another lie The front door slammed behind hinancy was turning me into an emotional black hole

"Oh, honey," Liv stood up as if she was coAnd I need to not cry"

She froze, looking helpless and angry that she felt that way

I knew exactly how she felt "It’s not me" I needed someone other than Dr Pritchard to know that "I haven’t shut hiht now and I ruined it I ruined this for hi to you?"

"He talks But it’sit’s like he can barely stand to be in the same room as me He hasn’t asked me how I feel about it now that the shock has worn off He doesn’t want to know He doesn’t want me to touch him"

"I’m sorry, Joss"

"He’s never been like that" The letter came back to mind and I felt that panic shole "I think I’ve fucked up" My hysterical laughter i I couldn’t control I couldn’t even betoo hard to care

I felt Liv’s coed led in besidejust disappeared as I let her co her shirt a testament to the fact that I wasn’t alone