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"I hope it’s worth it"

I turn Michael And the way he says it is so dausted

"It’s worth it," I whisper

It’s for him He shakes his head and walks away I force myself down the stairs and past Anna and everyone while they’re distracted I don’t feel like going straight to an empty house, so I wander around town for a while

Almost every place in Hallowell is the same kind of unremarkable, except for Josh’s place I stay away from that side of town and turn onto Hainsworth Jeanette lives here Donnie I can see his hoarden out front, but every little bit of it is immaculately kept

And his black convertible is in the center of it all

He found it

I take a quick look around The place looks empty I approach the house, his car, and I take it all in It should be fantastic I should love the ugly lines I made down his convertible I should love that everyone else can see them, too I should love that there’s a crack down the windshield that wasn’t there before I don’t It makes me miss Michael

I circle the car, and when I return to the scratches, I reach out I want to see what that kind of daainst the metal body

The front door bursts open

"Get the fuck away from my car"

"I told you it’d turn up," I say

Donnie stands there, raging on the steps I edge over to the front of the car and bring ood It doesn’t

"Get away from my car," he repeats I run my hand over the fresh crack on the windshield "Stop it"

I trace the line in the glass down to the windshield wipers

"Stop--"

"Oh, sorry, you want me to stop? Hey, tell Anna Go and tell Anna that you tried to rape s open, like he can’t decide to step forward or back into the house, and I hate the silence, so I kick the convertible as hard as I can

"Afton--"

"That’s what you get, Donnie" I kick it again "For what you did to me"

He turns purple-faced andas it passes I take the opportunity toback inside his house, slalance at the clock on ht-thirty Probably everyone is well on their way to wasted Designated driver Boring

I used to really hate the last party of the season, even if I drank until I was blind They were always bigger Louder More drinks, dancing, drugs, fucking,around Last year, Henry totaled his car while driving hoe into a black hoodie and jeans--incognito Running into Anna is inevitable, but I don’t have to make it easy for her to spot me

"I think it’s nice," Mom says as I make my way to the door I stop and turn to her She smiles "That you and Josh can still be friends Have fun at the party"

"Yeah," I say

When I reach Josh’s house, instant sensory overload Too hts, sounds, and sive the illusion of war on the front lawn They’re in the moment, and the moment is them, and the moment is perfect The party is here and it’s perfect Music Cars Friends

I’ it

I step into the heart of the scene, and in a minute flat, a bottle of beer is pressed into nated driver It’s te, but I leave it unopened I have a headache Already I cross my arms and stay on the lawn, bored After a while, Anna, Kara, and Jeanette march up "Anyone need a ride home?" I ask

"Party’s barely started," Anna says "We’re not over it yet"

"Where’s Marta? Is she over it yet?"

"Strip Monopoly," Kara says

"Hey--" Jeanette stumbles forward and relieves nated driver" She cracks it open and pounds it For a second, I envy her "This is the best party ever"

Anna rips the bottle from her hands "Jesus, Jeanette It’s too early for you to be this wasted If Regina has to drive you hoht, I’ll kick your ass"

"Why?" I ask her "That’s what I’m here for"