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Jake glances at him Then me He exhales, relieved

"You’re okay"

If he says so, itatsquad and all of the brainless hard-core jocks This is great

I will the floor to open up and eat ive her souys," Chris says Thank God for hi Get back to that, too" No oneFuck off!"

Everyone mumbles in assent and scatters back to opposite sides of the court That’s what it’s like to be popular Becky lingers ashe’s captain and Jake helpsclever and smart-ass to say, but I can’t and it freaks me out

Chris crouches down and hands me his water bottle

"Drink that" He looks so concerned I want to die "You’ll feel better"

I take a small sip and hand the bottle back Maybe the first words out of my mouth don’t have to be totally s

And that’s when I notice Evan’s not around Gone And then I wonder if he was ever here at all andbecause seriously, what if he wasn’t and I’ivesto say and it’s quiet

And then Henley comes in and Evan is with her Oh

"What happened here?"

I wish for once she’d look surprised to see et up, but Jake puts a hand onme, while Chris explains the situation to the best of his liuess I’o away vibes, because he skulks off to play basketball with the rest of the guys

When Chris is finished, Henley regards me carefully Even she hasor whatever in front of everyone But it should be painfully obvious I haven’t, because I don’t look happy

"Nurse’s office," she says "Can you walk, Fadley?"

I get to o home," I say

Except my voice cracks and just like that I’es ofthemselves down like they always do when I’m about to cry and then I realize I’m about to cry I cover my eyes Don’t cry

Don’t cry

"Fadley?"

"I--" If I don’t loweranyway, and I can’t let them think that so I drop o to the nurse’s office I don’t feel well I want to go home"

Jake and Chris stare at me funny Maybe they think it’s a crock I mean, even Henley doesn’t really seem convinced, but she never does

But Bailey believesin a chair by ently, ready to ward off any intruders that dare disturb rowls a little the first tis his tail when he sees it’s Moh I told her to leave me alone because I know I make her feel the worst when I s at a strand of es, Parker"

I rub my wrist I wish it was there The bracelet

"If I do, will you let me stay home fro tiet the scissors Meet me in the kitchen"

Bailey follows me downstairs, where Mom’s set up barbershop--a chair atop scattered newspapers in the , scissors in one hand I sit

"I worry about you, Parker," she says, gently pushing my head forward I want to tell her to join the club and then I want to tell her how boring that makes her and to not be so tedious But I don’t Snip, snip, snip "You used to talk to

"You were so"

Perfect She never finishes, but I know if she had, that’s what she would’ve said Perfect You were so

When she’s finished evening out my hack job, my hair that used to fall past my shoulders now stops at uess

EIGHTEEN

"Hey, Parker?"

I slam uy who knoant nothing to do with hi nitive behavior therapy and taught myself this anxiety transference trick, where I effectively turn the feeling that my heart wants to claw its way out of er every tiht still shake, but the difference is that it’s not going to end in total nervous collapse

Here’s hoping it works

"What" It’s not a question; it’s a statees

"I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to" He shifts and just blurts it out: "Look, do you remember that party last year, I mean, like, at all?"

"Why?"

"Because--" He takes one look at my face and shakes his head "You knohat? Never mind Chris said you didn’t"