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"Does every conversation between us have to be like this, with you prying into stuff that’s none of your business? So tell me: How `bout thereat," he roan "Jake"

"Okay, okay," he says quickly "Never mind"

"Do you think I’m depressed?"

"I think it’d explain the bravado"

"You think this is bravado?" I shake ht I sit at the front"

I grip the seat ahead of me and stand, but before I can step into the aisle, Jake reaches out and grabs ive him a look that says, I don’t have time for this

"You kissed me," he says

"So?"

"Would you please sit down? I want to talk to you"

I do it

"Look, I’lad because he’d only e he knows nothing about "Why did you kiss"Had to fill the moment at the coffeeshop so uess I was"

"Why would you do a stupid thing like that?" I chew my lip "The way you feel about me freaks me out I’ve told you that"

"Maybe the way you feel about me freaks you out"

"But I don’t kno I feel about you I try not to think about it And I’ve told you that"

I guess he knows I could run us in circles forever, so he leans in and gives me a kiss, all soft and hesitant, and I think it’s supposed to hter, but it doesn’t It steals le and I start thinking I’ll have an anxiety thing again, here on the bus while his ainst ht occurs to s his hand to my face: I couldn’t do this even if I wanted to do this

"Stop telling Jake things aboutto me now?"

"Why did you tell Jake I tried to kill myself?"

He pretends to think about it "Because you did?"

"I didn’t" I rest against his locker "That’s what you think I did"

He does that lean guys do with their girls I’ainst his locker and he rests his hand just above my head and tilts forward so we’re close He doesn’t even think before he does it; it’s second nature We used to stand like this every day between classes and he’d give , but I always thought that stupid lean meant intimacy Because I was dumb

"You drank a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and downed a bottle of sleeping pills I don’t think you tried to kill yourself, Parker; I know it"

"You obviously know nothing and now Jake’s getting the wrong idea about me"

"What do you care what Jake thinks about you?" He rolls his eyes "Okay, you tell me what you think happened and if I think it has s up Sound fair?"

"I got drunk first," I explain "And then I h the night It’s hard to count when you’re all fucked up"

"Well of course!" He slaps his forehead in disbelief "That explains everything How could I have been so stupid?"

"I’s"

"I don’t tell hi everyone doesn’t already know That’s fair ga and how close we actually are He straightens and rubs his hands on his shirt "He really likes you, huh?"

"I guess Why do you think that is?"

"Damned if I know That’s not exactly the type of conversation you want to have with the ex But I picked up on it, took pity on the guy and told him about that one ti sense "You wanted to scare hiht I’d let hi with other people, you’re really just fucking with yourself Becky and I had a talk about it and she threw that theory out there, and I gotta say ita real pain in ?" Chris studies me "You like him, don’t you?"

"Would that bother you?"

"Even if it did, I’ve resolved not to let it ruin a good tiusted "But you don’t love her"

He shrugs

"You love ain

"Oh, co hie room because he missed me so bad? You’ve never liked Becky--"

"I didn’t really know her before And believe it or not, Parker, things happen around you that have nothing to do with you even if they start out that way She’s not that bad By the way, Evan’s back in teeks He has to get all his shit from his aunt’s and cut his hair, but you should prepare yourself"

It throws me I need a second

"So he just cuts his hair and he’s back?" I ask "Everything’s like it was?"